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This Week on TV (8/24-8/30)

(To get a look at TV Envy’s 2009 Fall Programming Schedule, click here.)

MONDAY (8/24)

Dating in the Dark (ABC, 9pm): Season finale. “In the first season closer, an ex-FBI profiler assists the contestants.” Let’s hope proper background checks were part of his services.
The Rachel Zoe Project (Bravo, 10pm): Season premiere. “Season 2 opens with celeb stylist Rachel Zoe and her mod squad assigned to dress up five actresses for the Golden Globe awards. Meanwhile, a slumping economy affects the rich and famous when the production of couture gowns drops.” In other news: Us Weekly will devote an entire issue to dresses worn twice.
Hoarding (A&E, 10pm): “A woman whose children were removed from her home because of her hoarding wants to clean her home so that her children can return.” Until then, she’ll manage with the few children she kept hidden underneath the clothes.
Nurse Jackie (Showtime, 10:30pm): “The movie reviewer awakens from his coma to find that his critical senses have been radically altered.” Fortunately, his ability to sniff out crap was insured by Lloyd’s of London.

(You can view TV Envy’s Summer Television Programming Schedule here.)

MONDAY (6/9)

The Bachelorette (ABC, 8pm): “DeAnna accuses the 9 remaining bachelors of refusing to take the competition seriously, but first she invites them to compete in a singing contest.” I don’t understand why those guys don’t see the importance of a proper serenade.
Quads with 2 Moms (Discovery Health, 8pm): “A same-sex couple who want to become parents undergo fertility treatments and both become pregnant with twins.” I just can’t believe Oprah didn’t get a hold of this story first!
Greek (ABC Family, 8pm): Season finale. “The Cyprus-Rhodes students head to the beach for Spring Break where Casey finally decides to leave the past behind and cut loose.” And by “decides”, we mean she finally “downs” a couple of shots and forgets the past.
Nashville Star (NBC, 9pm): Season/network premiere. “Billy Ray Cyrus takes over the hosting from Jewel, who moves to the judges’ table alongside country stars John Rich and Jeffrey Steele.” I never thought the day would come when I would compare Jewel to Paula Abdul.