An Open Letter—In Defense of Britney Spears

Dear Video Music Awards viewers:

We’re probably all tired of talking about Ms. Spears and her disastrous performance by now…but I’d been thinking about The Biggest Loser premiere last night and I just had to get this off my chest:  Britney isn’t fat.

Yes, she’s bigger now than we she last appeared on the VMAs.

Yes, she would have looked better in the corset.

Yes, I’m sick of this alter-stripper persona that she has taken on.

But dang—I thought she looked pretty good for someone who’d drinking frozen margaritas non-stop.  And heck, I’m just happy she didn’t wear those ugly brown boots onstage!

You can call her a train wreck, bad mother, lost child all you want….but let’s lay off the weight.

Yeah, you heard me right.  I’m actually defending Britney.  But make no mistake—I’m only defending her on this one issue.  For those of you who read my first open letter to Britney, I still stand behind everything I said then.

Click to continue reading An Open Letter—In Defense of Britney Spears

Hey Paula!  I’m Not Done Talking To You…

This one goes out to Paula Abdul:

Seriously, Paula—you have got to be freakin’ kidding me!!!

Before I just considered you to be pathetic….but now I’m this close to saying I flat out loathe you.  After having watched the latest episode of Hey Paula, I’m certain you’ve at least lost all my respect. OK! magazine may have the pics that could destroy Britney’s career, but Bravo has been airing your career destroyer for weeks now.

C’mon—are you seriously telling me that you imposed on your stylist to do your interior decorating for you? (Uhhh, he does your hair and makeup).  A house you never even bothered to go see???  Then you complained when you saw the end result???  Well maybe if you bothered to stop shopping so that you could meet with the designer, she would have known what you wanted!  Besides, it was a rental house—you’re not going to live there forever!

I know I’ve said it before, but I will go ahead and say it again:  I don’t care how much you cry—I don’t feel sorry for you. Now stop talking about the neck pain!

An Open Letter To Britney Spears

Dear Britney:

I’ve seen all the bad press you’ve been receiving lately and I know that it has really gotten to you.  Access Hollywood has been promoting your upcoming interview with Matt Lauer all week.  I often feel bad that I pay US Weekly good money to publish all those bad stories about you—but for some reason I just can’t tear my eyes away from all your photos.  Those tear-stained eyes…your poor son looking helpless.

I know—it must be hard to live in the limelight…photographers waiting everywhere hoping that you will make a mistake.  I understand it must be horrible to live in such a fishbowl.

Maybe we’re all wrong about K-Fed.  Maybe he is a better father than he seems.  Shar Jackson still seems to say good things about him…even if he did leave her for you.

But no matter what you have to say about your mothering…about K-Fed…about the state of your marriage. Do you want to know my main problem about you?

YOU LOOK LIKE CRAP.

I hate it when people with good money can’t clean their acts up—emotionally OR physically. 

Granted—I have only seen clips from your upcoming interview, but I feel like I can comfortably say this:  FIRE YOUR PR AGENT (If they haven’t already quit).

PR 101:  If you want people to respect you—- LOOK RESPECTABLE.  I have no idea who let you go on national TV looking that…especially when the whole point of the interview was to set your record straight.  America—I’m not white-trash…even though I may dress like it.

Your television interview has NOT EVEN AIRED YET—but I can tell you right now, you are going to win very few people over.

There is no reason your hair should lack a good conditioner.  Your boobs should not be falling out of your top.  You should not be wearing short denim skirts that practically expose your rear.

I hope you know that they do make good maternity clothes now….especially for those who can afford it.  EVEN TARGET HAS BETTER MATERNITY CLOTHES THAN WHAT YOU ARE WEARING.

You may want people just to leave you alone—BUT YOU MAKE IT TOO EASY FOR THEM TO KEEP LOOKING.  You are a train wreck we can’t pull our eyes from—whether you are walking barefoot into a gas station bathroom or nearly dropping your baby.

Now don’t get me wrong.  I’m not a prude.  There is a time and a place for revealing tops and short skirts— and a sit-down interview on primetime television is not it.

Stop blaming everyone at home for perceiving you wrong.  GOOD PR STARTS AT HOME.  When you look good on the outside, you start to feel better on the inside.

Sincerely,
V

P.S.  Just in case you were wondering:  Thursday night @ 9pm on NBC—I’m so all over it!!!

 

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