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Wednesday April 16, 2008 10:48 pm

Big Brother 9: Batty Natalie Evicted, Ryan is New Head of Household




Posted by Jacci Lewis Categories: Prime Time, Reality, CBS, Editorial, News,

Natalie EvictedIt is time to bid a fond (or totally relieved) farewell to the bikini barista from Salem, Oregon. Natalie is the latest house guest to get the boot on .

Natalie ended up on the chopping block next to Sharon after Adam inexplicably won the Power of Veto challenge where house guests had to solve a complicated multi-TV, multi-remote challenge. The mushy-mouthed and dim-looking public relations flak solved the puzzle in a mere 3:20 seconds. It took box of rocks Natalie 12:09 seconds (though Sheila was the biggest dolt, it took her more than 15 minutes to get it right).

When the time came to use the POV, obviously Adam saved himself forcing Sheila to put someone else up for eviction. No big surprise here, she chose Natalie. In the end, Ryan voted to evict Natalie saying she is just too good at endurance competitions to safely keep her around. Adam voted to evict Sharon saying she hasn’t done anything good for him in the house. Sheila had to break the tie and, of course, evicted Natalie. The other big headline of the night: Ryan is the new Head of Household.

Back to the beginning. The show started with Ryan and Adam deciding they had to get to the bottom of whether Natalie has been playing all sides in the house. I’m confused on how they didn’t know that? The pair called a house meeting which instantly freaked Natalie out and made Sheila mad. Natalie refused to attend because she was coloring her hair (that’s actually a good reason, you don’t want to mess around with chemicals that could potentially leave you bald). The ever-resourceful Ryan and Adam moved the meeting into the bathroom (gross).

As Natalie tri-colored her hair (dark on the bottom, streaks of lightness on the top), Ryan and Adam grilled her about where her loyalties really lie. Natalie broke down sobbing saying yes she has lied and played both sides but she was always loyal to Ryan and Adam. Sheila was enraged telling Natalie she’d thrown her under the bus. Natalie admitted she would put Sheila or Sharon up on the chopping block over her two favorites, Ryan and Adam. On a side note: there is nothing more pathetic looking than a woman with a partial foil in her hair, sobbing and begging for forgiveness. I almost felt sorry for her.

Later, Natalie tried to turn the whole situation on Sharon saying SHE was the real liar. Sharon stood her ground that she has simply repeated what she has heard from other house guests. Not a liar, but not exactly trustworthy either. But hey, Sharon has turned the whole head down, mouth shut, eyes open routine into a patentable art form so you’ve got to give her some credit. The fight between the two didn’t go anywhere.

There was one fiery moment though involving Sheila, Adam and Ryan. Sheila rightfully questioned what the heck Ryan and Adam were doing holding their Dumb and Dumber version of the Spanish Inquisition in the Big Brother bathroom. They told her they had to know the truth about Natalie. Adam told Sheila he had to go with his heart. Ryan told her Sharon hasn’t done anything for them. Adam called Sheila a bitch. Sheila, furious about that and probably imagining the possibility of spending another week with the bible-toting bikini bandit Natalie, freaked out and told the boys to get the hell out of her HOH room. I loves me some She-bot.

Next, it was time for the obligatory and always bland chat with . The biggest revelation was that all the house guests claim they’d rather make it into the final two with someone who deserves to win half a million dollars rather than someone they could easily beat. Nobody’s buyin’ that and they shouldn’t be selling it!

Finally, we get to the live vote. As mentioned above, the boys split their votes. Ryan voted Natalie out, Adam voted Sharon out. Sheila broke the tie and sent Natalie out the door. I think Ryan and Adam probably planned that strategy to keep Natalie loyal to them in the jury house. She told Julie Chen however, she is mad at them both. So who knows? (Can we just take a moment to question how in God’s name Natalie lasted this long in the game? Oh, that’s right. God - he had her back until now).

As for the jury house, that was the best part of this mostly predictable episode. We saw James walk in and then sort of slam Chelsia. He told her that her nasty monologue as she was being evicted put a ginormous target on his back. (Chelsia told Adam to get a spine, Natalie to get an education and Sheila that she was rode hard and put away wet.) James called what was left in the wake of that moment the “residue of Chelsia” that sent him packing. She immediately burst into tears and went into her bedroom. He came in after her and told her it doesn’t matter, he went into the house as a homeless kid but left as a homeless kid who fell for a girl in the Big Brother house and THAT is worth more than the money. Yeah, I’m thinking not so much.

Anyway, I wish they’d show more of the BB9 jury house. It is kind of fun to see the bitter, twisted ousted guests mull over each other’s exits and talk smack about who is left inside.

Finally, though, it was on to the Head of Household challenge. The guests had to decide if a statement made about the game was true or false. The only interesting tidbits out of that was that Jacob (remember him, the first house guest to leave and Sharon’s ex-boyfriend?) was the mystery house guest with the least number of votes to get back into the house. Sharon, Sheila, Adam and Ryan were also stumped by a cryptic question that suggests two of the remaining four house guests have a pre-existing relationship (the guinea pigs).

Ahh, four house guests left. This endless season is almost over and we can finally return to our own dysfunctional lives and stop watching the forced drama of dumb people who will do anything for money or fleeting fame. I’ll kind of miss them.

The next episode of Big Brother 9 airs Sunday night at 8 p.m. ET/PT on .

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