Even though I’m quite guilty of refreshing the E! Online site every five minutes or so, I felt utterly compelled to share a story that they actually consider noteworthy.

The short article centers about none other than their very own, multi-talented, workaholic Ryan Seacrest. Earlier today on his Los Angeles KIIS FM talk show, the American Idol host recalled his recent weekend “shark scare” with listeners: “I was bitten by a shark. It swam up to me, and it took a bite, and then he left.”

As if this couldn’t get even more exciting, Ryan revealed that the “predator” was about the size of a cat and that the incident occurred a whopping four feet from the shore.

Unsure of whether the writer’s sarcasm was lost to me on their site or not, Peter Gicas ends the news flash with a near-mocking “Proof positive that nothing—even a fanged fish—can keep our man down.” Thanks a lot for nothing, Mr. Jaws.