The Go-To Person

Posted by Ashley Drapkin Categories: Advice, Editorials, Relationships,

Have you ever been the “go-to” person? The person who sits on a phone, on the computer, or in person, and listens to everyone else’s problems? You try to switch subjects and talk about yourself for once or just try to switch the subject to a completely different topic just because you are sick of hearing the same crap over and over nobody will listen. I am sure we have all been there; I know I have. I am usually the person on the other end of the phone or computer listening to someone about their relationships, and don’t get me wrong I know that is what friends are for, but when can you tell someone you’ve had enough of listening to the same thing every day or every other day?

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Broken Marriages and Relationships

Posted by Ashley Drapkin Categories: Advice, Editorials, Marriage, Relationships,

Lately when I look around me, marriages and relationships fall apart. Whether people get married for the right reasons or the wrong, people are too quick to end their marriage when it gets too hard for them to handle because getting divorces are extremely easy.

Relationships fall apart because no one knows how to be faithful anymore nor do they know how to be committed. It’s pretty sad because any relationship I see someone has cheated or both have cheated. I know cheating may happen, but when it happens more then once, obviously you shouldn’t be with that person and should probably break up before it causes more hurt then happiness

Honestly when I look at the relationships and marriages around me, it makes me not want to ever get married or get in a relationship, but then I see how happy my parents are after being married for 35 years and altogether 40 years. They are still completely in love it makes me sick—not literally. I also look at my sister and my brother-in-law who have been together for seven years I believe they are still in love. I have hope when I look at them, but I still have a hard time trusting anyone because I have seen what goes on in my friends relationships with cheating, and honestly I am not so sure I will ever be able to trust anyone.

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Everything Happens for a Reason…

Posted by Ashley Drapkin Categories: Advice, Relationships, Sex,

You know what the worse thing anyone can ever say to you especially when you are going through heartbreak, anger, and sadness? “Everything happens for a reason.” Those are the worse words anyone can say at that moment. I know that because I hate when people would say that to me when I was sad or angry or even my heart hurting over a guy.

Many people would use those words towards me and at the time no one wants to hear it. People just need to grieve at their own pace because sometimes heartbreak takes longer then someone else’s heart to heal. The worse also is when people constantly remind you, you were never in a relationship with this person so why are you so hurt and how can you love someone. You don’t need to be in a relationship to fall in love, especially when you hang with the person constantly and get to know them on a emotional level.

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Can Guys and Girls Be Just Friends?

Posted by Ashley Drapkin Categories: Advice, Editorials, Relationships,

Can guys and girls be just friends? That is a question I have asked myself for years, and even though I have many guy friends I still ask myself that one particular question. I ask it because anytime I hang out with a guy all the time someone expects me to be dating the guy when I’m not. I have a few very close friends that I don’t have any emotional feelings for they are just someone that is there for me, and that I can rely on whenever I need someone or something.

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Why are men and women so different in the getting over process?

Posted by Ashley Drapkin Categories: Editorials, Relationships,

I have always tried to figure out one thing; why is it always easier for a guy to get over a girl than it is for a girl to get over a guy? I have realized that, not only with me, but with my friends as well. I have so many girl friends that try to get over guys for months at a time, and still can’t over them, but when it comes to my guy friends? They just move on right to the next one, like the previous girl never existed in their life.

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Fake relationships stink!

Posted by Ashley Drapkin Categories: Editorials, Relationships,

Relationships are hard as it is with the title and actual work, but without the title it is perhaps even more difficult. Not having the “boyfriend/girlfriend” status, one is stuck as to what the rules are or if there are even rules at all. I’ve never been in an actual relationship-relationships, but I have always been in the “fake” relationships where you go out with a guy, hang out with him all the time, et cetera; basically a relationship without the title and without the sincere caring and commitment that’s involved.

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Who do you treat better: your boss or your spouse?

Posted by Katie Gutierrez Painter Categories: Editorials, Marriage, Relationships,

Okay, that’s kind of an unfair question. After all (in most cases… hehe) the relationship is as different as could be. Perhaps I should rephrase: To whom do you show more courtesy and consideration: your boss or your spouse?

The question is one I’ve vaguely had in mind for a few days, ever since I decided to multitask by using my lunch hour get my cardio in via taking the dog for a jog. I also took along my Bluetooth headset just in case any clients called. Instead, it was my husband who called, and I tried valiantly to have a decent conversation while keeping my pace through the home stretch. Eventually, he griped, “I can’t hear a thing you’re saying with all that wind. Just call me later.” Before hanging up, he added, sort of incredulously, “You wouldn’t actually talk to a client like this, would you?”

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Easy Ideas for Cheap Dating

Posted by Vicky Lane Categories: Advice, How To, Humor, Marriage, Relationships, Sex,

In these times of economic crisis, people everywhere are looking for ways to cutback.  This week, Netflix reported their highest sales growth in years.  Could it be that those ridiculously high movie tickets are just too much of an expense these days?  Last week Husband and I spent $30 on a trip to the theatre.  Now while it’s not something we ultimately want to cut from our budget, signing up for a DVD rental program is a great way for us to save some cash.  It’s also a really great way to spend an evening.  Making a good dinner, putting comfy PJ’s on, and curling up on the couch to a good flick can be romantic and relaxing after a hectic work week. It’s also an excellent way to finally watch those movies you’ve wanted to see but never got around to. We’re renting some classics now like Breakfast at Tiffany’s and Lawrence of Arabia (which will take up your entire evening).

There are tons of ways to create “cheap dates” besides succumbing to the all you can eat buffet or the Mickey D’s drive through.  For example, going to lunch instead of dinner is a great, cheap way to try a new restaurant. Or, how about taking advantage of the local scenery?  We headed to the big Shedd Aquarium here in Chicago last weekend and it was fun and inexpensive.  Museums, zoo’s, etc. in general are usually priced pretty low.  Plus, it’s a great way to spend time with each other, get out of the house, and experience cool things right in your own backyard.  A friend of mine just told me she and her husband toured the Anheuser Busch brewery in Jacksonville, FL for the first time even though they’ve lived there for at least 8 years.  It’s amazing how we sometimes overlook our local attractions.

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“Tell Me You Love Me”  Should He Always Say It First?

Posted by Vicky Lane Categories: Advice, Humor, Marriage, Relationships, Sex,

If you haven’t figured it out yet, I’ve been in a handful of relationships prior to getting married. Most of them were meaningful and some of them were pretty intense. I have been in love more then once and yeah, I’ve said those three little words a few times. It is so funny to me how we (us girls) are so anxious about wanting to hear our man give in to his emotions and tell us he loves us. Sometimes we stare at them and repeat to ourselves “say it, say it, come on say it” (well, maybe us crazy ones). We really want to hear it because for one, it confirms that this guy is really serious about us and two, that he’s not going anywhere (at least for a little while).

Some of us go through many stages of anxiety in a relationship. The first stage, after a serious relationship is established, is the “when is he going to say ‘I love you’?” stage (by the way, the next stage is “when is he going to propose”). When you have completely fallen in love, all you want to do is say it. You want to tell him you love him everyday. But you won’t. And why? Because you want him to say it first, and in my opinion, he should. You really never, ever want to be in a situation where you profess your love to someone and then it not be returned. That’s harsh. But I said he should, not he must.

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For Better or For Worse: Life After the Wedding

Posted by Vicky Lane Categories: Advice, How To, Marriage, Relationships, Sex,

Some people have been asking me why I’m blogging so much about dating and ex-boyfriends now that I’m a married woman. Well, if you look at my life in segments, my dating life far exceeds my married life. I figure my first date happened at the age of 15 and I was married at 30. 15 years of dating versus just over one year of being married. I can no way claim to have knowledge about how to make a marriage work. But I can discuss what I’ve experienced so far, and steps I’ve taken to make my marriage successful.

So the wedding is over. It’s funny how the question that everyone asked went from “how’s the wedding planning?” to “how’s married life treating you?” or “so when are you having a baby?”. I find the one about married life the most interesting. I hear it the most from married people and am now starting to feel like maybe it’s a trick question. If I look closely, I can see them looking at me with a raised eyebrow and maybe thinking to themselves “ha ha sucker, so how is married life really”? It seemed innocent at first and I always answered “Great!” But I realized that they knew something that I didn’t, and were waiting for me to discover that being married is no walk in the park.

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