Everything Happens for a Reason…

You know what the worse thing anyone can ever say to you especially when you are going through heartbreak, anger, and sadness? “Everything happens for a reason.” Those are the worse words anyone can say at that moment. I know that because I hate when people would say that to me when I was sad or angry or even my heart hurting over a guy.

Many people would use those words towards me and at the time no one wants to hear it. People just need to grieve at their own pace because sometimes heartbreak takes longer then someone else’s heart to heal. The worse also is when people constantly remind you, you were never in a relationship with this person so why are you so hurt and how can you love someone. You don’t need to be in a relationship to fall in love, especially when you hang with the person constantly and get to know them on a emotional level.

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How to Deal with the Relationship Red Flags

Sometimes women put up with quite a bit from a guy to make a relationship work out. We ignore some obvious signs that this guy might not be the one, all for the hopes that everything will work itself out. Sometimes these red flags are waiving right in our faces and we push them aside. For what? To not be single, or alone? Sometimes, it’s just not worth it.

Half a decade ago I was in a really bad situation with one of those “bad boys”. You know, that guy who is so bad for us, but for some reason we must have. The guy that we think we can change (which never happens by the way). After the first three weeks of dating this guy, he completely blew up at me, I mean he had a MAD temper and it came out early (lucky for me right?). So of course I ended it. Hello? Major red flag! I didn’t want to be with a guy who yelled for no reason, right? The he apologized. And for some reason I gave him a second chance. I don’t think most women would, but I did. I liked the idea of him (having a boyfriend) and of course, thought I could change him.

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Getting Over the Worst Break-Up

I’ve heard some really horrible break-up stories in my day. One of the worst was when my friend got dumped after her boyfriend went away for a vacation. During the period of one week he had met a new girl, brought her home, and moved her in. Oh the heart ache she must have felt. It truly was a horrible way for him to end things. But I remember this particular break-up story because I remember how well she handled it. She was strong, mature, and had no urge to destroy him or his new girl. How did she do it? Maybe she cried every time she was alone or maybe (hopefully) she consumed high levels of alcohol so that she could drown her sorrows away. I knew this girl well and the bottom line was she just got over him, moved on, and never looked back.

I am the polar opposite. My worst break-up ever was with someone I dated for about 8 months. I was 28 he was 30 and we were in love. Things moved pretty quickly and I knew, just knew, he was the one. He was about to be a lawyer, an Italian like me, and we were basically compatible.

So how did he break up with me? The last normal conversation I had with him was amazing. We had agreed to move in together and finally start our lives. Oh my god this was it!! We would live together, get married, have babies, have more babies, renew our vows… and…. um…. yeah, all that other crap. God help me.

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