Broken Marriages and Relationships

Posted by Ashley Drapkin Categories: Advice, Editorials, Marriage, Relationships,

Lately when I look around me, marriages and relationships fall apart. Whether people get married for the right reasons or the wrong, people are too quick to end their marriage when it gets too hard for them to handle because getting divorces are extremely easy.

Relationships fall apart because no one knows how to be faithful anymore nor do they know how to be committed. It’s pretty sad because any relationship I see someone has cheated or both have cheated. I know cheating may happen, but when it happens more then once, obviously you shouldn’t be with that person and should probably break up before it causes more hurt then happiness

Honestly when I look at the relationships and marriages around me, it makes me not want to ever get married or get in a relationship, but then I see how happy my parents are after being married for 35 years and altogether 40 years. They are still completely in love it makes me sick—not literally. I also look at my sister and my brother-in-law who have been together for seven years I believe they are still in love. I have hope when I look at them, but I still have a hard time trusting anyone because I have seen what goes on in my friends relationships with cheating, and honestly I am not so sure I will ever be able to trust anyone.

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Everything Happens for a Reason…

Posted by Ashley Drapkin Categories: Advice, Relationships, Sex,

You know what the worse thing anyone can ever say to you especially when you are going through heartbreak, anger, and sadness? “Everything happens for a reason.” Those are the worse words anyone can say at that moment. I know that because I hate when people would say that to me when I was sad or angry or even my heart hurting over a guy.

Many people would use those words towards me and at the time no one wants to hear it. People just need to grieve at their own pace because sometimes heartbreak takes longer then someone else’s heart to heal. The worse also is when people constantly remind you, you were never in a relationship with this person so why are you so hurt and how can you love someone. You don’t need to be in a relationship to fall in love, especially when you hang with the person constantly and get to know them on a emotional level.

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Bad Spelling Pun Aside… The Results are Hair!

Posted by Katie Gutierrez Painter Categories: Advice, Editorials, Entertainment, Fashion,

The almost-week since chopping off my hair has been a study in feminine power. On that first day, walking out of the salon clutching my 10-inch severed ponytail, I felt a strange combination of liberation and uncertainty. I no longer had the heavy weight of thick hair over my back and shoulders, and my neck felt bare and vulnerable. Later, of course, I thrilled at how quickly I could wash my hair in my crappy, low-water pressure shower, and marveled at how, when I pulled a blouse over my head, there was no hair to heave out from under it. But the feeling of uncertainty remained.

“Do I look stocky?” I asked my cornered husband. I narrowed my eyes at myself in the mirror and stood with my hands on my hips. Then I turned my stare to him. “So?”

“Um…no?” he replied and then quickly ducked out of the bathroom. Smart man.

I realize now that I did not look stocky; after all, if anything I had lost ounces, not gained them! But I felt that I’d also lost that element that has made women feel feminine and sexy for millennia: long hair. As the week wore on and I grew more used to my new reflection—and played with alternating looks between sleek and choppy—I couldn’t help but feel a little embarrassed at the attachment I had had to my hair. I mean, I’m a smart girl. I have a great career. I work out, and my body feels stronger and abler every day. Most of the time, I feel pretty confident. So why suddenly feel as though parts of those great characteristics had disappeared with my—let’s face it, slightly damaged—ponytail? Silly, silly, silly!

And now? I love feeling the early spring breeze tickle the back of my neck. I love that the tops of my shoulders show even when my hair is down. And it’s soo much fun experimenting with different makeup looks to go along with the hair. My advice to any of you ladies seeking self-discovery? Head to your stylist. With a sharp and shiny pair of scissors, she’ll be able to help you out.

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Taking the Plunge… By Which I Mean the Chop

Posted by Katie Gutierrez Painter Categories: Advice, Editorials, Entertainment, Fashion,

Ladies, the tables have turned!

After five years of having very long hair, which I have to admit I think is one of my best features, the time has come. My appointment is February 25, and I’m anticipating chopping off about 12 inches. (I may need a glass of wine first.) I’ll be donating my briefly orphaned strands to Locks of Love, which I’m really excited about because frankly, who doesn’t want to do something nice for a sick child? I also think the cut will bring about some change in me (God knows what, but I can’t wait to find out!).

But what style should I ask for? The basics: It will likely fall somewhere between my jaw and chin, and I have full, blunt bangs. What are your favorite short haircuts? I challenge you to find the best! Send pictures, links; share your creativity! I can’t wait to see what you come up with!

Oh, and what do you think of the image here? Could it be The Cut?

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Why Guys Can’t Ignore Valentine’s Day

Posted by Vicky Lane Categories: Advice, Editorials, Humor, Marriage, Relationships, Sex,

No matter how silly and ultimately meaningless this “hallmark holiday” is, every girl hopes that someone will acknowledge her on Valentine’s Day.  When I was a single girl, I dreaded Valentine’s Day (and most holidays for that matter). But like most single girls, I still hoped and prayed that some secret admirer would send me flowers, candy, or some cute stuffed bear wearing a red tee shirt with some cheesy phrase like “be mine” on it . Hey, I’d even settle for a card.  I just wanted something that day. Just to feel loved, appreciated, alive. And sometimes I would get something. There are some sensitive gems out there that are willing to play along.  I had a male boss who always brought a single pink rose to every woman in the office as a gesture of appreciation. And of course there’s Dad.  Even a Garfield or Snoopy card from Dad could cheer me up on a day that depressed the hell out of me.

I think the majority of men think Valentine’s Day is just plain stupid.  But the bottom line is no matter how cool the girl plays it, she is most likely desperate for some offering on this day. She’s actually waiting and waiting for that moment to happen. When the delivery man comes to her desk at work with a huge monstrosity of roses, instead of passing her by and delivering to her neighbor, she is completely elated. Having flowers delivered may seem overboard for some guys but if she works in an office environment with a ton of women, you best be sending flowers.  And mind you they don’t have to be roses.  If you ask a woman what her favorite flower is chances are it’s not a rose.  Whatever the flower arrangement is though, the worst thing that can happen is being surrounded by bouquets that aren’t for you.  Even if you have a night out planned, send the flowers!  You’ll have a much better evening if you do. (In order to make this even easier for you, here’s a ProFlowers coupon for 20% off any order + free vase - or you can enter to win one of five $70 ProFlowers gift certificates we are giving away, just in time for Valentine’s Day.)

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Easy Ideas for Cheap Dating

Posted by Vicky Lane Categories: Advice, How To, Humor, Marriage, Relationships, Sex,

In these times of economic crisis, people everywhere are looking for ways to cutback.  This week, Netflix reported their highest sales growth in years.  Could it be that those ridiculously high movie tickets are just too much of an expense these days?  Last week Husband and I spent $30 on a trip to the theatre.  Now while it’s not something we ultimately want to cut from our budget, signing up for a DVD rental program is a great way for us to save some cash.  It’s also a really great way to spend an evening.  Making a good dinner, putting comfy PJ’s on, and curling up on the couch to a good flick can be romantic and relaxing after a hectic work week. It’s also an excellent way to finally watch those movies you’ve wanted to see but never got around to. We’re renting some classics now like Breakfast at Tiffany’s and Lawrence of Arabia (which will take up your entire evening).

There are tons of ways to create “cheap dates” besides succumbing to the all you can eat buffet or the Mickey D’s drive through.  For example, going to lunch instead of dinner is a great, cheap way to try a new restaurant. Or, how about taking advantage of the local scenery?  We headed to the big Shedd Aquarium here in Chicago last weekend and it was fun and inexpensive.  Museums, zoo’s, etc. in general are usually priced pretty low.  Plus, it’s a great way to spend time with each other, get out of the house, and experience cool things right in your own backyard.  A friend of mine just told me she and her husband toured the Anheuser Busch brewery in Jacksonville, FL for the first time even though they’ve lived there for at least 8 years.  It’s amazing how we sometimes overlook our local attractions.

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“Tell Me You Love Me”  Should He Always Say It First?

Posted by Vicky Lane Categories: Advice, Humor, Marriage, Relationships, Sex,

If you haven’t figured it out yet, I’ve been in a handful of relationships prior to getting married. Most of them were meaningful and some of them were pretty intense. I have been in love more then once and yeah, I’ve said those three little words a few times. It is so funny to me how we (us girls) are so anxious about wanting to hear our man give in to his emotions and tell us he loves us. Sometimes we stare at them and repeat to ourselves “say it, say it, come on say it” (well, maybe us crazy ones). We really want to hear it because for one, it confirms that this guy is really serious about us and two, that he’s not going anywhere (at least for a little while).

Some of us go through many stages of anxiety in a relationship. The first stage, after a serious relationship is established, is the “when is he going to say ‘I love you’?” stage (by the way, the next stage is “when is he going to propose”). When you have completely fallen in love, all you want to do is say it. You want to tell him you love him everyday. But you won’t. And why? Because you want him to say it first, and in my opinion, he should. You really never, ever want to be in a situation where you profess your love to someone and then it not be returned. That’s harsh. But I said he should, not he must.

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For Better or For Worse: Life After the Wedding

Posted by Vicky Lane Categories: Advice, How To, Marriage, Relationships, Sex,

Some people have been asking me why I’m blogging so much about dating and ex-boyfriends now that I’m a married woman. Well, if you look at my life in segments, my dating life far exceeds my married life. I figure my first date happened at the age of 15 and I was married at 30. 15 years of dating versus just over one year of being married. I can no way claim to have knowledge about how to make a marriage work. But I can discuss what I’ve experienced so far, and steps I’ve taken to make my marriage successful.

So the wedding is over. It’s funny how the question that everyone asked went from “how’s the wedding planning?” to “how’s married life treating you?” or “so when are you having a baby?”. I find the one about married life the most interesting. I hear it the most from married people and am now starting to feel like maybe it’s a trick question. If I look closely, I can see them looking at me with a raised eyebrow and maybe thinking to themselves “ha ha sucker, so how is married life really”? It seemed innocent at first and I always answered “Great!” But I realized that they knew something that I didn’t, and were waiting for me to discover that being married is no walk in the park.

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15 Little Ways to Live Happier and Healther—Starting NOW!

Posted by Katie Gutierrez Painter Categories: Advice, Entertainment, Fashion, Health, How To, Humor, Relationships,

It’s the tenth day of the new year, and how many of us have already strayed from our resolutions? That may be because those goals we make each December 31 often revolve around breaking bad habits or spontaneously forming new, better ones. Who among us hasn’t vowed, at least once, to eat healthier, to work out three times a week, to drink less, to read more, to be spontaneous, and so on? While these resolutions may be noble, they’re also decidedly vague. (After all, doesn’t eating only one bowl of ice cream after dinner count as “eating healthier”?) So why not give yourself a chance to actually achieve your goals by making them smaller and more realistic? Below, 15 little ways to live healthier and happier—starting now.

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Style Yourself Successful: Four looks that show you how

Posted by Katie Gutierrez Painter Categories: Advice, Editorials, Entertainment, Fashion, How To, Humor,

I have an unstylish little secret: Since I work from home, it’s not unusual for my husband to arrive in the afternoon and see me in the same clothes I woke up in that morning. In fact, yesterday he came home early and caught me in my pajamas, on the couch, cup of coffee in hand and watching the end of a Lifetime drama. It was three p.m. “I swear, I didn’t just wake up, and I haven’t been doing this all day!” I announced before I’d even said hello. My immediately defensiveness wasn’t because I thought he’d judge me. It was because I was kinda judging myself a little. What am I , I thought, some slobby kid home from college for the holidays? No. I own a business. I’ve published books. I write about beauty and health, for God’s sake!

This morning, I woke up, went straight into my closet, and pulled on a little red jersey dress. I did the fresh-face routine, brushed and styled my hair, and then made my cup of coffee and got to work. Fifteen minutes of my time, quite a simple look, and I suddenly felt like a professional again. The point is this: You can style yourself successful. The psychology is simple—looking good makes us feel good. Knowing that we appear put-together gives us confidence, with which we’re more apt to take on new projects, invite the boss to lunch, and impress clients. And it works both ways. The people around us take subtle cues about our personalities, capabilities, and desires from the clothes we wear—and they act on those cues. So, read on for a few looks that will help you achieve your daily goals.

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