(Make sure to check out TV Envy’s Programming Schedule.)

• The Sing-Off (NBC, 8pm):  Series premiere. “A cappella groups from around the country perform in the first round of this competition series hosted by Nick Lachey.” Those who have no groups, host.
• Two and a Half Men (CBS, 9pm):  “Charlie teaches Jake the tricks of infidelity while his girlfriend is away for the holidays.”  Tip #1: Ask your mistress to take your name off her phone. Tell her to just have it as a number on the voicemail.
• Chef Academy (Bravo, 10pm):  “Chef Novelli’s enrollees get to the root of cooking vegetarian meals. As one particular student begins to annoy the others, the aspiring chefs forge alliances.” Spoiler: The episode will end with a carrot in someone’s back.

• NCIS: Los Angeles (CBS, 9pm):  “When a Marine is killed by an exploding cell phone, the team investigates his former unit, which specializes in explosives, to see if its members are suspects or potential victims.” He was simply the recipient of an explosive sext message.
• Psychic Kids (A&E, 9pm):  Season premiere. “Two teens help a private investigator on a missing-persons case.” Teen investigators? I think NBC has its next pilot.
• Gordon Ramsay: Cookalong Live (FOX, 9pm):  “Gordon Ramsay prepares a three-course meal and invites viewers to cook along with him.” The special will be aired on a five-second delay in case of foul language.

• Man v. Food (Travel, 10pm):  “The host heads to Hartford, Conn., and attempts The Challenger at Randy’s Wooster St. Pizza Shop. He’ll have one hour to finish a monstrous 10-pound pizza that’s stuffed with a ‘combination too big to list,’ according to the menu.” Those with allergies should probably keep away.
• Eastwick (ABC, 10pm):  “Kat realizes her healing powers come at a cost.” For every life she saves, another show is canceled.
• Nip/Tuck (FX, 10pm):  Season finale. “Sean faces an ethical dilemma when McNamara/Troy is asked to remove excess fat from a prisoner awaiting execution.” Luckily, unethical decisions are their specialty.

• Saturday Night Live Presents: A Very Gilly Christmas (NBC, 8pm):  “Holiday-themed shticks and skits from the late-night show’s archives are presented. Included: guest appearances by Alec Baldwin and Steve Martin; and a new sketch featuring mischievous moppet Gilly.” A special featuring Kristen Wiig—and this differs from a regular SNL how?
• The Real Housewives of Orange County (Bravo, 10pm):  “The women prep, pack and proceed to their weekend in Florida—-but trip planner Vicki worries that the men in their lives will crash their all-female jaunt.” She’s far more intimidating with smaller numbers.
• Jersey Shore (MTV, 10pm):  “One of the housemates gets involved in a bar brawl.” He’ll become the first recruit in the 1st annual Jersey Shore/Hills challenge.

• Frosty the Snowman (CBS, 8pm):  “Jimmy Durante narrates the story about the warmhearted man of snow, who risks a meltdown from rising temperatures unless he can get to the North Pole.” Maybe he should try adopting an icier disposition?
• Dollhouse (FOX, 8pm):  “Victor is released back into the world when his contract with the Dollhouse expires.” Unfortunately, jobs in primetime television are few and far between.
• Say Yes to the Dress (TLC, 9:30pm):  “Randy and Dianne work with a bride who says her budget is $7000, but her mother reveals that it s actually $4000.” She wasn’t aware of the $3000 set aside for her dowry.

• Kendra (E!, 9pm):  Season premiere. “The season begins with Kendra and Hank moving to Indianapolis for Hank to play with the Colts.” In Kendra’s previous relationship, her boyfriend liked to play with the Bunnies.
• Addicted to Psychics (TLC, 10pm):  “Profiling people whose lives revolve around visiting psychics.” TLC can see the ratings now.
• Keeping Up With the Kardashians (E!, 10pm):  Season premiere. “Rob is admitted to a hospital after he accidentally takes an unknown substance.” Did he happen to take some “E”?