“I feel failure,” Kate Gosselin admitted on the Today Show, her first live TV interview since news of her divorce was made public. Once an average mother with an above-average amount of children, Kate Gosselin is now a well-known reality celebrity…but she’s also a woman embroiled in a very painful public break-up.

“Yes,” Kate answered when asked if she still loves Jon Gosselin, who’s made media headlines with his post-split behavior. “When I think back to the Jon I knew,” she qualifies.

“I was shocked,” she says of Jon’s choice to date Hailey Glassman, 22. “But, to be honest, that’s his life,” she added.

Jon and Kate are still carrying on with their reality show, albeit in a new setup that features each parent separately tending to their large brood of children and giving interviews. Separately is how the Gosselin parents do things these days, Kate often with the children (and her bodyguard) and Jon with different females on different days.