See, Charlie Sheen is getting some work. In-between interviews and Web rants, the recently-fired actor managed to perform this skit for Funny or Die. Now, Sheen fans can learn a few of the ingredients it takes to be a winner just like him.

As he says, “If you eat like me, you can be like me.” Sheen certainly has an interesting take on what it means to be a winner, a philosophy that extends to his food. “I don’t cook food, I will it,” he explains in the video.

But, we caution you to take care if attempting to repeat any of Sheen’s cooking steps. As the actor points out, “The taste of Charlie Sheen has the potential to make your soul weep.”

It can get a TV show canceled, too.