(You can view TV Envy’s Post-Strike Television Schedule here.)

• Two and a Half Men (CBS, 9:00):  (The script was written by CSI scribes.) “George Eads (CSI) has a cameo in which a CSI team investigates a death at Charlie’s house.”  I know Charlie wanted to stop Denise’s reality show, but this is quite a sweeps stunt.
• House (FOX, 9pm):  “House believes that an actor (Jason Lewis) on his favorite soap is seriously ill after observing his symptoms on television, so he decides to intervene.”  If I had known something like that would work, I would have kidnapped Smith Jerrod a long time ago.
• Samantha Who? (ABC, 9:30pm):  “Sam’s affair with Todd continues while he’s still seeing a clueless Chloe.”  I’m sorry—why doesn’t Sam just kick her out of her apartment again?  She does own the thing, doesn’t she?
• CSI: Miami (CBS, 10pm):  “Alexx is stunned when her son is the prime suspect in a murder investigation, and any help she offers could prove costly.”  Buh-bye, Khandi!

• Oprah (syndicated):  Barbara Walters reveals a past love affair with a black senator.  This news officially makes Elizabeth Hasselbeck the most boring person at The View table.
• According to Jim (ABC, 8pm):  “Andy is convinced that Emily is going to dump him on their six-week anniversary, since all his other girlfriends left after that duration.”  Any person who celebrates a six-week anniversary should be dumped.
• Dancing with the Stars (ABC, 9pm):  Special 100th episode includes appearances from Mario Lopez, Apolo Ohno and Sabrina Bryan.  This is one series that could definitely use a “Best Of” season.
• Hell’s Kitchen (FOX, 9pm):  “The 10 remaining chefs must please a picky teen who has come to Hell’s Kitchen for her birthday party.”  I refuse to believe Ramsay would cater to any girl who could be featured on Sweet Sixteen.

• America’s Next Top Model (CW, 8pm):  “The four remaining models photograph Paulina Porizkova for a challenge.”  If they can’t do it right, they might as well shoot someone else who can.
• Deal or No Deal (NBC, 8pm):  “The series travels to Estonia, where a Texas hairdresser and a cabbie from Hawaii go for the million.”  Unless NBC is going to pay the contestants a million euros, this whole overseas road trip thing is really pointless.
• Farmer Wants a Wife (CW, 9pm):  “When elimination time comes, the unlucky lady is heartbroken and refuses to leave.”  I’ve never had the urge to watch this show until now.
• Audition: Barbara Walters’ Journey (ABC, 10pm):  “Barbara Walters reflects on her life in an interview with Charles Gibson.”  Are you seriously telling me that ABC had to interview their own talent after Oprah?

• Survivor: Micronesia (CBS, 8pm):  “The women use their powers of seduction to test the only male castaway remaining.”  With any luck, the flirty women will cause Erik to self-implode before Tribal Council.
• My Name is Earl (NBC, 8pm):  “As Earl and Billie decide to give romance a try, Earl inspires Billie to compose her own karmic list.”  Do we really need to drag this whole thing out?
• Scrubs (NBC, 8:30pm):  Season/NBC finale.  “Dr. Cox spins his rocky day at work into a fairy tale for his son.”  In this fantasy world, networks shower their long-running sitcoms with love.
• CSI (CBS, 9pm):  (The script was written by Two and a Half Men scribes.)  “The difficult star of a TV sitcom is murdered while filming an episode in Las Vegas.”  I remembered when writers simply had difficult actresses fall down elevator shafts.

• Man of the House (FOX, 8pm):  “Tommy Lee Jones stars as a no-nonsense Texas Ranger assigned to watch over a bevy of beautiful college cheerleaders who witnessed a murder.”  Thankfully, Jones now has No Country for Old Men to make up for this winner.
• TV’s All-Time Funniest (ABC, 8pm):  “A look at TV’s all-time funniest characters, with comments by Brad Garrett, Mary Tyler Moore, David Hyde Pierce, Marion Ross and Rainn Wilson.  Viewers voted for the funniest in eight categories.”  If I cared how viewers voted, I would actually watch the People’s Choice Awards.
• Crossroads (CMT, 9pm):  “Maroon 5 and Sara Evans perform each other’s songs and explore common musical ground.”  The thought of Evans singing the lyrics to ‘This Love’ seems quite wrong.
• Moonlight (CBS, 9pm):  “Mick’s past comes into sharper focus for Beth when the grandson of his WWII buddy is kidnapped.”  That’s right, Beth.  He’s old.

• Survivor: Micronesia (CBS, 8-11pm):  The final episode and reunion show both air tonight.  Are Amanda and Ozzy still a couple?  Did Parvati and James continue their flirtation?  Is Jason really smarter than he seemed?  The answer to one of these questions is “No.”
• Desperate Housewives (ABC, 9pm):  “A warp erupts between Bree and Edie.”  That’s exactly what Edie’s been needing: A decent match-up with a fiery redhead.
• Psych (NBC, 9pm):  “Shawn and Gus must find the killer on the set of a Spanish soap opera.”  Look for the one with the scary eyes!  There’s always one of them in a telenovela.
• Brothers & Sisters (ABC, 10pm):  “The family discovers William kept another painful secret from them.” He’s not a father to any of them?