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Alright, granted—I’m from a place that gets hotter than much of the country. Hundred-degree summer days are the norm. Sweating while walking from the car to the grocery store is expected. It’s still effing scorching at eight in the evening. So maybe, just maybe, that’s why I’m so annoyed by the summer scarf trend. But maybe not. It just doesn’t make sense. It’s hot, people! Why are you wrapping extra fabric around your neck? Why not just mummify yourself while you’re at it? Wrap bandages around your face. Let your eyes peer out at the hot summer days. At all the people walking around with blissfully bare necks.

I’m calling it now: Opera gloves are the next summer It item. Maybe they’ll be refashioned from these inexplicable scarves.

What do you think? Do you buy the scarf-as-necklace trend? If so, tell the truth—are you dying under there??

Jessica Alba
Nicole Ritchie
Rhianna


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You know that moment when the wheels of the plane touch ground and you shoot forward in your seat with the new momentum? And you briefly, deliciously forget how your hair became that odd combination of greasy on top, staticky on the bottom, and that you ran out of face blotting tissues and feel slightly nauseous? It’s that fizzy moment of anticipation, of your travels opening in front of you with all the possibilities of dreams…

Haven’t felt that way in awhile? Me neither. Which is why I’m loving this summer’s trend of clothes that are rich with cultural details: Navajo-inspired dresses and tunics with intricate, boldly colored embroidery; Navajo summer 2009 Indian-influenced statement earrings and cuffs; Description colors and embellishments and attitude straight from Mexico, Turkey, Africa—almost anywhere you can imagine.

Even if imagining is all you do this summer!

Dior runway 2009
Gucci runway 2009


T-Ball Girl

Well, last night marked a big night at our home - it was my daughter’s last t-ball game. For those of you who have not been inducted into the t-ball club, let me give you the Cliffs Notes version. T-ball is played by 5 & 6 year olds. In our city, there are approximately ten players on each team. When we go to a game, there are two innings. Each player bats. They can swing as many times as they want, there are no outs. We do not keep score. When the last batter is up, the umpire calls, “Last batter,” and the kid playing “pitcher” stands at home plate and tags any of the kids who were on base. When it is over the kids have absolutely no idea what they have done or who has won. It is INSANE!

My husband and father are vehemently against it (due to their competitive natures) and began “unofficially” keeping score during the second game. Needless to say, I was not sorry that the season was rounding to an end. All day long my daughter has gone on and on about how sad she was that the season was going to be over and how excited she was about her big game. At about 5:00 I went to her room to get out her uniform. It was gone!!! I couldn’t find it anywhere!!!  After fifteen minutes searching (with her pacing along behind me), I called my husband who was on a business trip in Miami. “Do you have any idea where her uniform is???” I shrieked into the phone. “Yes, it is in the trunk of your car,” he answered calmly. “But you drove my car to the AIRPORT!” I screamed (the airport is three hours away). “Hmmmm,” was his reply.

So I pasted on a fake toothy grin and called my daughter to the room. I asked her if she’d like to go eat pizza and go swimming tonight. “What about my game?” she replied suspiciously. “Um, your-uniform-is-in-the-car-at-the-airport-so-you-aren’t-going-to-play,” I rattled off as quickly as possible. “Thank goodness,” she answered, “I am so tired of pretending to have fun!” Then she skipped out of the room.

Well my spring 2010 just became wide open!


Katie Holmes

Well in T-minus 25 days and counting I will turn the big 3-0! Oh sure, I’ve been fed the whole 30 is the new 20 garbage, but bottomline is that anything that has to be “the new” anything else is just plain OLD. As I sit and try to come up with some positives about turning 30,  I am plagued yet again with the trendy mom debate.  Last week I was bathing suit shopping at Old Navy. After winning a tug-of-war battle with a blonde who looked like she might have a good left hook, I snatched up my cute orange bikini and headed to the dressing room to try it on.

After a quick look I decided it would do. I sashayed out of the fitting room just in time to see that cute blonde hand the same cute orange bikini to her fifteen year old DAUGHTER. My jaw dropped. There was no way that I, a mother of two, could possibly wear the same swimsuit as a girl with her learner’s permit. I tossed the bikini back on the shelf and began my search for a practical one piece tank suit. So here is my question, at what age do you start looking silly if you dress young?

You all know of those women that people whisper, “she’s too old to wear that”...or “she’s too old to have that hair cut”... When do you have to stop shopping at GAP and Old Navy and start shopping at… I don’t know….mom stores? While I am not particularly interested in being a trendsetter, I do like to look nice and cute, but appropriate. Will there come a time when all of the sudden cute clothes are not appealing to me? Will my brain suddenly decide that the knit vest with apples on it is exactly what I wanted to wear today?  I really don’t know how all of this works?  If anyone has any insight I would truly appreciate it!! Lol!


Jamie_Kennedy_Jennifer_Love_Hewitt
Hewitt predicts own engagement
While Jennifer Love Hewitt is denying that she and boyfriend Jamie Kennedy are engaged, she has given him an ultimatum of sorts.

“By this time next year, if we’re not planning something, then there’s a situation.”

Nothing says love like a forced engagement, Jennifer.  .


Classy Katy
Katy Perry tells Seventeen magazine that she’s not the kind of girl to hook up.  She refused to kiss boyfriend Travis McCoy until they went out on a date.

Only in Hollywood would not being a tramp make the news.


Hudson’s sprint
At the recent Veuve Clicquot’s Manhattan Polo Classic in New York horses weren’t the only thing running.  When Kate Hudson caught wind that Madonna was on her way, she took off at high speed.  Kate is rumored to be dating Madonna’s rumored ex A-rod, so I guess she didn’t want to risk a confrontation with the Material Girl. 

And here I thought she was an actress, not an 8th grader.


I’m not a scorned wife…but……
Eddie Cibrian’s wife, Brandi Glanville is claiming that LeAnn Rimes is “stalking” Eddie. Seems the country singer refuses to face the fact that her affair with Cibrian is over.

In an interview with US weekly the ticked of wife says that “LeAnn is so desperate for fame she has left her self-respect in the gutter and doesn’t care who she hurts to get what she wants.  She’s hurting my family and messing with the wrong mom.”

Interesting. And here I thought she was messing with your husband.


Once a quitter, always a quitter
So it seems that the third time is, indeed, a charm.  Or, in the case of the other contestants on I’m a Celebrity … Get Me Out of Here!  a relief.

The public pukefest known as Speidi has once again quit the reality TV show, but this time for good.  In fact the show has already added another Baldwin to the cast, with Daniel replacing Spencer Pratt.  Heidi Montag’s replacement has not been announced yet, but unless they get the bag lady from down the street that pees on herself, the new contestant won’t be as nauseating or annoying as Heidi.

 

 


Twilight

At least there will be barf bags
With Twilight kicking ass at the recent MTV movie awards and a full on convention dedicated to all things Twilight set for later this summer, what else is there left for this mega movie to do? 

Hey, I know!  How about a cruise!!

Yeppers, there is a Twilight cruise set to sail in 2010.  The ship will leave from Washington and suck through Alaska and British Columbia.  Yeah, when I think cheesy romantic vampire movie I totally think of Alaska and BC.

You can even bump elbow with stars of the film.  Ashley Greene and Kellan Lutz will be on the cruise.

Yeah, I don’t know who they are either.


Glamorous outing
So it seems that American Idol runner up, Adam Lambert, is planning on coming out in the next issue of Rolling Stone.

What?  He’s gay?  I supposed Clay Aiken is, too.


Mel Gibson flaps his sugar lips
Ticked off at all the gossip about him, Mel Gibson laid down the law at his church.  He recently went on a rant, telling members of the congregation, including a couple of priest and a bishop that if the gossip about his marriage breaking up and him knocking up some Russian while still technically married doesn’t stop, he’ll shut the church down.

Really, Mel?  You’ll shut the church down? I thought you only had the power to make extremely long period movies. 


Heathers II
With the flurry of 80s movie remakes and sequels, it should come as no surprise that the cult classic Heathers is slated to get its own sequel, complete with Christian Slater. 

Winona Ryder, who co-stared in the original with Slater, recently said “Christian [Slater] has agreed to come back as a kind of Obi-Wan character.”

And what’s your role Winona?  Lipstick stealing soccer Mom?


And baby make 4.  Or possibly 5
Nicole Kidman and hubby Keith Urban are all set to adopt a Vietnamese child.  Seems they are anxious to give ten month old Sunday Rose a sibling. 

Nicole has two adopted children with ex Tom Cruise and she is reported to be pregnant again.

If you want to catch up to Madonna and Angelina, Nicole, better get a move on it.

At least Paris Hilton only collects puppies.


Tooth fairy

So last week we had a rite of passage in our home. My five-year-old lost her first tooth. It was a little bit traumatic due to the fact that she swallowed it, but I convinced her to write a letter to the tooth fairy explaining what had happened and everything would be fine. That evening after she went to bed I snuck in her room, grabbed the letter, and left her a dollar. The next morning at church some of our friends heard her talking about getting a dollar. I swelled with pride, well, until I noticed the posse circling around me. All of a sudden the tooth fairy patrol began to cross examine me.

Apparently two of our friends gave their daughters twenty dollars for the first tooth and one friend gave her son forty dollars. Forty dollars!!! That is insane. Why in the world would anyone give a five-year-old forty dollars for a tooth?  So I started to feel guilty. I began to poll all of my friends and apparently the average amount of money a child received from the tooth fairy was ten dollars. I don’t know about you, but ten dollars is a lot more precious in our household these days.

Nevertheless, two weeks later when my daughter lost her second tooth (thankfully we rescued it from the sink before it went down the drain), the tooth fairy left a more generous gift of five dollars. Suffice it to say I was a bit chagrined when my daughter yelled for me to come to her room. Upon seeing her prize she sighed wistfully and said, “I wish the tooth fairy would quit leaving me these useless tickets. I would much rather have some crayons or bubble gum!” From the mouth of babes…


Chris Brown
Brown nosing
As his court date approaches, Chris Brown has decided to concentrate on his music.  Robert Allen, a friend of Brown’s says, “Chris is focused. He knows how to deal with whatever is going on and is willing to do what he has to do to please his fans. He wants this to be his masterpiece. He’s predicting this will be his biggest album.” 

Hey, Chris, if you want to please your fans how about owning up to the smack down you put on Rihanna? 


Party like a thirteen year old
It seems that Angel and Kings, Pete Wentz’s New York City bar has been shut down for serving alcohol to minors. And it seems that it’s the third violation for the bar.

Might want to check what Petey is putting in that baby bottle, Ashley. 


Drunk Petty
Actress Lori Petty has been arrested for DUI after hitting a skateboarder with her car while drunk.

Hey, at least she wasn’t driving a tank.


I’m a douchebag…get me out of here!
Two days into filming on the reality TV show, I’m a Celebrity ….Get me Out of Here!  Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt have quit the show, not once but twice. 

Seems they didn’t know what they were signing up for. Really?  It’s being filmed in the jungles of Costa Rica.  What in the heck were they expecting? If we’re lucky these two will drown.  Well, maybe Spencer will.  Heidi’s boobs will keep her afloat.


So… Is MTV really still doing that movie awards show? I didn’t watch it. (Although maybe I would have had I been home, but that’s neither here nor there.) However, that doesn’t keep me from passing gleeful judgment on the show’s attendees! Without further ado…

BEST

I’ve said it before. I think few women in Hollywood have better natural style than Sienna Miller. Take her green Swarovsky-encrusted Twenty8Twelve—the label she designs with her sister—backless minidress. With the beachy waves and low-key makeup—along with the faaabulous Nicholas Kirkwood sandals—the whole look is fun, glamorous, and effortless. Sienna Miller MTV Music Awards

I was pleasantly surprised by Ashley Tisdale, who managed to look both chic and edgy in an Elise Overland leather sheath dress, embellished belt, and sky-high gladiator stilettos. I thought the dusky lavender looked great with her skin and chestnut hair, though I did think the extensions were a little much. Ashley Tisdale

A bit of an odd choice for the MTV Movie Awards, I’ll admit, but I dug Malin Ackerman’s flawless white suit and sexy bustier top. Kind of refreshing amid a sea of overexposed starlets, no? Malin Ackerman 

WTF?

Okay, I hated—hated, hated—Megan Fox’s hair. The severely slicked back front with the attempt at loose, retro waves in back? Reminiscent of scary man-mullets at hick town bars. I also didn’t dig her D&G metallic jacquard dress, which really reminded me of hotel drapery and/or bedspreads. Megan Fox

It pains me to do this, because I was originally all for the newly blonde Leighteon Meester’s more daring Emilio de la Morena dress. Then I saw the back. Do my eyes lie? Can you actually entirely see through the rear of her dress? Now I’m no prude, but no matter how awesome your derrière is, showing it in public just seems tacky. Thoughts? Leighton Meester 

Ohh, Lauren Conrad. LC, if I may. Why? Nothing flattered about this Moschino rose-printed bubble hem dress, accessorized with ratty, bleachy extensions and deep red lips. The whole look was the opposite of youthful summer style. Enough said, I think. Lauren Conrad

So, do tell. Agree, disagree with my choices? Who else should be on this list?


Adam_Lambert

Glambert being coy
Even though Idol is over for another season and Adam Lambert didn’t walk away with the crown, seems people are still curious about whether or not he wears one. 

And his answer to all those questions about his sexuality?

“Calm down… keep speculating.”

Eyeliner, eye shadow, nail polish and more hair product than Ryan Seacrest?  Don’t think a lot of speculation is needed, folks.


Susan Boyle’s potty mouth
Seems that Britain’s Got Talent’s Susan Boyle let loose not once but twice in the same day, cursing her badly coifed head off.  Could the pressure be getting to her?  Or maybe she’s just got a potty mouth.  Either way, her outbursts – one involving passing police calming her down and the other as a result of praise another contestant received – won’t endear her to anyone. 

Afterall, it takes years to achieve enough of a diva status to pull off bad public behavior – just ask Whitney Houston.


Brown in doo-doo again
Chris Brown is once again at the center of an assault case.  A photog is claiming that Chris’ bodyguards gave him a little smack down when he took a pic of the singer playing basketball at the gym.  Chris himself was not directly involved.

I guess it was a male photographer.


Amy Winehouse is just lonely
According to Mama Winehouse, her daughter is a lush because she’s lonely and bored in St. Lucia’s.

“Two of her closest friends are going over to try to calm her down a bit. I think it will make a big difference because in the past few weeks she’s been bored. “

Bored? In St. Lucia’s?  Sun and sand, yeah I’d totally be bored too.

Hmm…. maybe if she sobered up she could do something totally fun, like show up for gigs. That would take care of an hour or two of her day.


So I guess she’s into boys this week
Okay, this is tacky, even by her standards.  Reality star Tila Tequila has tweeted that the reason she’s been so sick lately is that she’s knocked up. 

“I’m gonna tell y’all something REAL FAST, then delete it ok?… Since nobody is awake… reason why I’ve been feeling sick on and off lately is because yes, I am pregnant!”

Uh huh.  Then the class act proceeded to threaten her baby daddy by outing him if he didn’t “step up”.

“You should at least step up to the plate or I’m gonna have to put you on blast in the media…and I’M SURE that’s not what you want do you?.”

And just in case we didn’t realize it, the sperm donor is a Hollywood big wig.

“I’m talking about someone very very very very very f-ing famous! He is like A-list famous and you follow him on Twitter too.”

Honey, I don’t even follow YOU on Twitter.


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