I stopped writing recaps of Paradise Hotel 2 a couple of weeks ago for the same reason I stopped watching the show…it is just too depressing to see such moral bankruptcy without any wit or style. Still, I read all the comments people leave for my web logs and try to respond accordingly. Someone asked me to do another Paradise Hotel recap, so here it goes.

I’ve caught up enough to know that Charte got the boot a few weeks ago after Stephanie arrived.  Raheim and Johnny cleared out to make way for two new guys, Chris and Aaron. Chris is 27, a fitness trainer from Scottsdale, Arizona. Aaron is 24 and some type of hayseed student/model from Jacksonville, Alabama. The sense I get so far is that Chris is a laid-back, likable sort of guy while Aaron is annoying and sounds a bit like Forrest Gump when he talks.

Last night’s episode brought in another new girl. Her name is Myrna. She is described as a 22-year-old “fashion designer” from Los Angeles, California. She tells the other girls that she likes to date guys with “a touch of black in them” who have fancy cars and good jobs. Good luck finding a guy who can even spell job let alone hold one in Paradise Hotel 2. More on that in a moment.

The episode begins with Krista questioning whether she made the right decision in a choice that ultimately sent Raheim packing. Lauren and James, the only two hotel guests who appear to miss Raheim, cried and lamented his exit. In a moment of clarity, Tanya reminded them that it is just a game and not to judge the strength of their bond until after watching the episodes. James snapped back that Tanya should give him his moment to mourn his best friend.

Next, the guys get word that a new girl is checking in. A letter instructs them to prepare for a “Mr. Paradise Hotel Hottest Body” contest. Dopey, slow-eyed surfer dude Ryan hopes the new girl is “good looking and likes to party”. As do the producers of the show.

When we meet Myrna, we learn that she is an Asian girl who is used to getting what she wants (her words). Aaron predicts that Myrna’s arrival will be good for the new hotel guests who are at risk of being picked off one by one by the “originals”. (Frankly, this is a misnomer as there is absolutely NOTHING original about any of the hotel guests, but I digress.)

Myrna tells some of the girls her theory on what makes a guy datable for her: money, a good car and a “touch of black”. She then retires to her room where she finds a letter from ousted guest Raheim. Raheim tells her the best strategy in Paradise Hotel is to appear to have no strategy at all. He also warns her to watch out for Stephanie and Tanya.

Meanwhile, the men begin pumping and greasing up for the “Hottest Body” contest. Chit chat during that scene reveals that Mike, Tanya’s roommate, has a thing for Asian girls.

The guys come out to reveal the superhero character they’ve concocted for the contest. James calls himself “ice-man” and says his super power is to become invisible so he can know everything that is going on in the hotel. Aaron, who may be too dumb to think of a character, simply comes out in a cape and tells Myrna he would always choose respect over money. Chris’ tells her he is “Black Magic”, a character who likes to dance and have a good time. Ryan calls himself “Captain Liberty” whose job is to liberate the women (from what I’m not sure since they all seem to be far TOO liberated), that moment came complete with a creepy stare down.

Somehow Aaron wins the contest by charming Myrna with his ‘respect over money’ answer. He wins a one-on-one date with Myrna where he learns that while she is attracted to his personality, she does not necessarily think he is the hottest guy there. He urges her to join an alliance with the other new hotel guests. She says she’ll consider it.

Meanwhile back at the pool, we see Ryan and Stephanie slip away to take a very public sex shower together. In a cutaway interview we learn that Ryan has absolutely nothing nice to say about Stephanie (frankly, who does). They are not ‘friends with benefits’ because Ryan can’t stand her and only had sex with her just to “do it”. He says he had more fun having other hotel guests sneak in and watch them than the actual sex. Somewhere his and Stephanie’s family are wondering what they did wrong.

Later, Lauren spills the beans on the new girl and what she said about wanting guys with money and nice cars. Ryan gets annoyed and says that obviously eliminates him because he is a lifeguard with no prospects who only makes about $30,000 a year. (Lifeguards make that much?) Tanya backs up the idea that we should all strive for more in life. Ryan storms off and throws a hissy fit in front of Mike. (To be fair, Ryan was totally and completely wasted but still, is it really that much to ask that a man try to hold a job above the poverty level?)

Ryan tells Mike that Tanya is an idiot for backing up what Myrna says. Mike insists she isn’t. When Mike tells Tanya that Ryan said she isn’t what he thought she was she begins to cry. Surprise, surprise it is all cleared up the next morning when Ryan sobers up.

Myrna gets wind that one of the girls (Lauren) told the guys what she said. She tells Chris ominously she is not a woman to be messed with and that whoever spread that rumor left out the concept that ambition is just as good as money because she can help someone double their income. Huh?

A bit later, Stephanie and Lauren get into a cat fight about whether Lauren is spreading rumors that Stephanie kissed Aaron in the pool. I can’t figure this scene out or what Stephanie was mad about exactly because after all she has already had very public sex with Ryan, a threesome with Ryan and Tanya and God knows what else. My only guess is that even she doesn’t want to be linked with Aaron who as watchers of the “Mature” version of the show on FOX Reality know was caught performing a solo lewd act in Stephanie’s bathroom. Use your imagination if you have any left after watching Paradise Hotel 2.

Next, the hotel guests learn that each will get a one-on-one chat with the new girl. Myrna asks Ryan who he would send home. He says quickly he’d get rid of Stephanie because they haven’t connected on a “personal level” (just a sexual one). Stephanie says she’d send Lauren home. TD would get rid of Lauren or Tanya. Krista says she’d can Aaron. Mike would get rid of TD because she is always napping. Chris would get rid of Mike or James since they seem to have all the power.  Myrna asks Tanya and Lauren both if they spread rumors about her, Lauren admitted she did. Myrna asks James who of all the guys she should end up with in the hotel, he says she should end up with Mike because he is “cool as hell”.

From this tedious scene Myrna actually comes up with sort of a smart idea. The game gives her the power to switch the roommates around. She basically pairs everyone with the person they’d least like to be with: Krista goes with James, Tanya with Chris, Lauren with Aaron, TD with Mike and Stephanie with Ryan (to his shock and dismay).

It pains me to say (only because it sounds so stupid) that the guests in the first Paradise Hotel were far more interesting than this bunch. I’m now questioning the entire trash reality genre. Has it jumped the shark? These people who would submit to being on this type of show are the absolute lowest common denominator in society and even THAT doesn’t make them worth watching. Have we all just seen too much?

I think we’ve come full circle. Like a kid who has eaten too much candy on Halloween, it is time for a meal with some nutrition in it. Can’t trashy people also be quick-witted? Is it not possible to be both? These are questions that simply can’t be answered by Paradise Hotel 2.

And yet I keep watching and recapping. Paradise Hotel 2 airs Monday night at 9 p.m. ET/PT on MyNetworkTV  and at 1 a.m. ET on Tuesday on FOX Reality.