American Idol 9 visited frequent host city Dallas, Texas in Wednesday’s installment. Soaring skyscrapers, wide-open skies and southern charm were offered aplenty. The show’s steadies - Ryan Seacrest, Simon Cowell and Randy Jackson - attempted to guess who the day’s guest judge would be.

Neil Patrick Harris, best known for his role on How I Met Your Mother, answered the question. His goal was to make “two, three dozen people cry.” I’m on board with that. Original American Idol champ Kelly Clarkson came from the show’s first Dallas auditions. Also present at this first year was Julie Kevelighan, who returned in Season 9 for a little redemption.

Clad in an ill-fitting sparkly blue dress, Julie launched into a warbly rendition of “Black Velvet” to further prove that she’s just no Idol. Neil Patrick Harris critiqued Julie’s sign before telling her he didn’t really care for the singing. “Everything was wrong,” Simon Cowell summed it up. Julie kept right on singing as the panel groaned. Security eventually swept her right on out the door. “That’s just annoying,” the guest judge remarked.

Lloyd Thomas was immediately entertaining, which warranted an extended video package. Born and bred in Dallas, Thomas is a family man who doesn’t much like his job - an American Idol story that’s at once relatable and touching. Nice job, producers. Thomas beautifully sang for the judges, bringing an instant smile to Kara DioGuardi’s face. “I like your vibe,” Randy Jackson told him. Simon Cowell called Lloyd’s his “favorite audition of the day.” Thomas easily achieved a golden ticket to get his shot at stardom.

Katy Perry and Kara DioGuardi clashed at the LA auditions; Simon Cowell and Neil Patrick Harris butted heads in Dallas. This is good entertainment, folks.

Pretty Kimberly Carver sang a lovely original song with a nice mix of country flavor and pop styling, making her a highly desirable Idol contestant. “Brilliant voice,” Randy Jackson observed. “I don’t see anything current, anything interesting,” Simon Cowell bit out. “I disagree with you, Simon,” Harris interjected. “I’m gonna impress you next time,” Carver promised Simon, the source of her single negative vote, as she ran out of the room with her golden ticket.

Dexter Ward was convinced he was destined to be the next American Idol at the start of his audition. He sang with a pronounced lisp, very little stage presence and unintelligible lyrics. It was clear to the panel right away that Dexter Ward was not, in fact, going to become the Idol this year (or in this life). “Randy, help,” Kara DioGuardi looked right for assistance. “Singing’s not you thing, dog,” Jackson broke the news. “Thanks for liking the show,” Neil Patrick Harris kindly told Ward as he exited the room.

The classic Idol tear montage followed. Many grim faces left the audition room that morning, their hopes for fame shattered…for the moment.

Erica Rhodes is an actress and grad student from Texas, one of the children who appeared on Barney & Friends. In contrast to this image, she appeared in the audition room in black leather, wielding a whip. Erica beautifully sang the Barney song at the request of guest judge Neil Patrick Harris. Her real audition song was a sassy version of an old En Vogue joint, which she didn’t sing quite as well as the theme song. “You’ve definitely made an impression here,” Simon Cowell  remarked dryly. “Great presence,” Kara DioGuardi observed. Erica managed to win her golden ticket with a unanimous vote from the panel.

Dave Pittman, Arkansas native, suffers from Tourette Syndrome. He sang with strong vocals - and very little trace of odd tics. “I really liked your voice,” Neil Patrick Harris told him. Pittman managed to win his ticket to Hollywood, the last one to be given on the day.

Day 2 opened with guest judge Joe Jonas, teen female obsession and Disney superstar. The Jonas Brothers are from Dallas, but that’s probably not the only reason he was invited to sit with the judging panel.

Todrick Hall, who previously worked with Fantasia Barrino, sang a very impressive original tune with pretty entertaining lyrics. In attention to songwriting capabilities, Todrick has a beautiful voice. “I think you’re one of the best I’ve seen,” Randy Jackson observed. “I’m not jumping out of my chair,” Simon Cowell told him, but in the end Todrick got four “yes” votes and a ticket to Hollywood’s grueling week.

Cute, blonde Maegan Wright brought her little brother to her Idol audition. Her pretty vocals were somewhat sabotaged by a terrible song choice, but this didn’t ruin her chances. All four judges agreed that Maegan should get shot to move on in the competition.

Colorful Vanessa Johnston spent her waiting time by entertaining the crowds. She boldly sang “At Last,” and it was truly one of the most terrible things ever heard by the human ear. Her loud, badly off-key vocals were almost as off-putting as her noisy outfit. Simon Cowell said that Vanessa was now a reference point for his nightmares, and the panel quickly gave her their “no” votes.

Christian Spears was the last Dallas auditioner, a leukemia survivor who has a voice much more suited to Etta James tunes. Her gorgeous vocals immediately impressed the judged. “Beautiful voice,” Joe Jonas told her. Simon Cowell liked her, finding her to be an “incredibly brave person.” Spears won her ticket to potential fame, ending the day in Dallas on a positive note.

Thirty-one contestants will move on from Dallas to Hollywood, where they will join the dozens of others who will sing for their chance to get into the Top 24. Next week, American Idol will visit Denver to search for more talent.

Check out all our other American Idol 9 posts.