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Thursday March 19, 2009 7:58 pm

An Open Letter to Regis Philbin and Kelly Ripa

Regis Philbin and Kelly Ripa

Dear Regis and Kelly,

I have something I really need to get off my chest. Even though I continue to watch on a fairly regular basis (usually out of habit), I find myself increasingly more annoyed as the days go by.

You can call me bitter and jealous all you want, but this is something I’ve been bothered by long before the economy started to tank. The current climate has only made it worse.

Earlier this week, I flipped on your program while Regis was talking about the AIG bonuses. Kelly followed that up with a story about a group of teachers who opted to take a 5% pay cut to help save their coworkers. That discussion then led to an unnecessary confession from Regis: He recently took a pay cut as well. (Uhh - did he want us to pat him on the back?) When the topic was redirected back to Kelly, she then joked, “Some of us don’t need a pay cut!”

Fast forward to today. Regis talked about how his current tour was originally scheduled for the post-sweeps period. Unfortunately, his plans were interrupted when sweeps was pushed to March this year (during your normal “spring break”) because of the DTV conversion. You both then thought it was appropriate to (jokingly) whine about how you had to work an extra five hours this month.

Seriously?

Up until this point, I was already becoming fed up by your daily conversations. It dawned on me one day that all Kelly ever talks about is her weekends in the Hamptons or her vacations to Antigua. Regis, meanwhile, talks about his nights out on some red carpet and the frequent dinners with friends. I’ve also heard many times (from both of you) about your one hour of work a day. (We all know Gelman is the brains behind this operation.)

So please just give me a moment to see if I understand what it is you do for a living: You get paid millions of dollars a year to go out and live extravagantly…so that you can come to work and talk about your lives for 30 minutes…so that you can earn another paycheck?

At least the women of are forced to study up on current events so that they can sound informed during Hot Topics. Half the time, Regis doesn’t even know what he’s talking about! (Please refer to my previous comments about why he should retire.)  Thankfully, Anderson Cooper is kind enough to give your program a bit of credibility every once and a while.

Let me just make my complaint clear. While I doubt you intend to make other people feel bad, this is not a time when references about the economy should be said in jest. We also don’t want to hear about how good you’re having it. Laugh about pop culture. Complain about the headlines. Share a story about your kids. Just don’t tell me about the dinner you had at that exclusive restaurant last night…and how you had to come in to work one hour today.

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