DC Comics has announced that they will no longer carry the seal of the Comics Code Authority on the covers of their comics.

Instead, they are going with a new cover ratings system that you can read about at Newsarama.

It’s a good start, but I think that someone should come up with a more accurate way to rate the comics. And that someone could be me. Here are my new ratings suggestions:

S - SOMEONE
We hope someone will buy this comic.

R - REFRIGERATOR
A woman will get stuffed into one.

B - BROKEBACK
Female characters will be scantily clad and twist their bodies into impossible yet titillating positions.

F - FETISH
Contains female sidekick threatened in exciting ways.

C - CONTINUITY
Unless you’ve been reading this title for the last 30 years, don’t bother picking up this issue.

D - DEATH
Someone dies. Maybe someone close to you. In a cape. And boots. Or his girlfriend.

J - JUMPING OFF POINT
This issue marks a change in the title - different creative team, new story direction - that creates the perfect opportunity to finally quit buying it.

G - GREYING MAN-BOYS
Content suitable for readers over 40.

W - WAIT
We'll eventually collect this.

P - PRICE
This issue is shockingly overpriced.

A - AMAZON
This trade paperback is much cheaper at Amazon.

I look forward to seeing these on the covers of comics sometime soon.

[Artwork: The Comics Code Authority seal]