Were the 90s awesome for you? Did you own a literal ass-ton (it’s an official measurement) of Versace shirts, pointy-toed shoes and hair pomade? Of course you did. The world was your oyster, but at some point along the way, between losing all of your stock options along with most of your hair and dignity, you got saddled saddled with a wife and kids and had to give up the one thing that you based your entire ego around: your two-seat fire-engine red Ferrari that you nicknamed “Chicka-saurus Rex.” Ever since that day it has been one long sad slide into middle age as you putt-putt along in your almost as douchey, but not quite as manly, Porsche Cayenne Turbo SUV or some-such. Well, break out the striped shirt with the dragon embroidered on the back, paint yourself with enough fake-tanner to make an Oompa-Loompa blush and get ready for a return to the salad-days: Bugatti has announced the arrival of a 4-door version of the Veyron, the mascot-car of ass-hats everywhere, in 2012. The 4-door Galibier will still feature the same gas-sucking 16 cylinder, quad-turbo engine that the Veyron has but will also allow you to pretend that you care about your family at the same time. I mean, honestly, what says ‘family man’ more than strapping your wife and kids into a car that has the ability to smash into things at 230MPH? Now all that you need to complete the picture is a house that has stripper poles and a Sesame Street swing-set.
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