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For Better or For Worse: Life After the Wedding
Posted by Vicky Lane Categories: Advice, How To, Marriage, Relationships, Sex,
Some people have been asking me why I’m blogging so much about dating and ex-boyfriends now that I’m a married woman. Well, if you look at my life in segments, my dating life far exceeds my married life. I figure my first date happened at the age of 15 and I was married at 30. 15 years of dating versus just over one year of being married. I can no way claim to have knowledge about how to make a marriage work. But I can discuss what I’ve experienced so far, and steps I’ve taken to make my marriage successful.
So the wedding is over. It’s funny how the question that everyone asked went from “how’s the wedding planning?” to “how’s married life treating you?” or “so when are you having a baby?”. I find the one about married life the most interesting. I hear it the most from married people and am now starting to feel like maybe it’s a trick question. If I look closely, I can see them looking at me with a raised eyebrow and maybe thinking to themselves “ha ha sucker, so how is married life really”? It seemed innocent at first and I always answered “Great!” But I realized that they knew something that I didn’t, and were waiting for me to discover that being married is no walk in the park.
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15 Little Ways to Live Happier and Healther—Starting NOW!
Posted by Katie Gutierrez Painter Categories: Advice, Entertainment, Fashion, Health, How To, Humor, Relationships,
It’s the tenth day of the new year, and how many of us have already strayed from our resolutions? That may be because those goals we make each December 31 often revolve around breaking bad habits or spontaneously forming new, better ones. Who among us hasn’t vowed, at least once, to eat healthier, to work out three times a week, to drink less, to read more, to be spontaneous, and so on? While these resolutions may be noble, they’re also decidedly vague. (After all, doesn’t eating only one bowl of ice cream after dinner count as “eating healthier”?) So why not give yourself a chance to actually achieve your goals by making them smaller and more realistic? Below, 15 little ways to live healthier and happier—starting now.
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Style Yourself Successful: Four looks that show you how
Posted by Katie Gutierrez Painter Categories: Advice, Editorials, Entertainment, Fashion, How To, Humor,
I have an unstylish little secret: Since I work from home, it’s not unusual for my husband to arrive in the afternoon and see me in the same clothes I woke up in that morning. In fact, yesterday he came home early and caught me in my pajamas, on the couch, cup of coffee in hand and watching the end of a Lifetime drama. It was three p.m. “I swear, I didn’t just wake up, and I haven’t been doing this all day!” I announced before I’d even said hello. My immediately defensiveness wasn’t because I thought he’d judge me. It was because I was kinda judging myself a little. What am I , I thought, some slobby kid home from college for the holidays? No. I own a business. I’ve published books. I write about beauty and health, for God’s sake!
This morning, I woke up, went straight into my closet, and pulled on a little red jersey dress. I did the fresh-face routine, brushed and styled my hair, and then made my cup of coffee and got to work. Fifteen minutes of my time, quite a simple look, and I suddenly felt like a professional again. The point is this: You can style yourself successful. The psychology is simple—looking good makes us feel good. Knowing that we appear put-together gives us confidence, with which we’re more apt to take on new projects, invite the boss to lunch, and impress clients. And it works both ways. The people around us take subtle cues about our personalities, capabilities, and desires from the clothes we wear—and they act on those cues. So, read on for a few looks that will help you achieve your daily goals.
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How to Deal with the Relationship Red Flags
Posted by Vicky Lane Categories: Advice, How To, Humor, Marriage, Relationships, Sex,
Sometimes women put up with quite a bit from a guy to make a relationship work out. We ignore some obvious signs that this guy might not be the one, all for the hopes that everything will work itself out. Sometimes these red flags are waiving right in our faces and we push them aside. For what? To not be single, or alone? Sometimes, it’s just not worth it.
Half a decade ago I was in a really bad situation with one of those “bad boys”. You know, that guy who is so bad for us, but for some reason we must have. The guy that we think we can change (which never happens by the way). After the first three weeks of dating this guy, he completely blew up at me, I mean he had a MAD temper and it came out early (lucky for me right?). So of course I ended it. Hello? Major red flag! I didn’t want to be with a guy who yelled for no reason, right? The he apologized. And for some reason I gave him a second chance. I don’t think most women would, but I did. I liked the idea of him (having a boyfriend) and of course, thought I could change him.
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Health Bulletin #1: The disease that poses as a UTI—and affects more than 1 in 300 women
Posted by Katie Gutierrez Painter Categories: Advice, Editorials, Health, How To,
I’ve been thinking about the best way to start blogging about health issues that really matter to women. And I decided that, in addition to product reviews, exercise and eating advice, etc., it’d be a good idea to spend some time each week focusing on a particular health threat. Why not start with one that’s close to my heart (and bladder)?
One lovely Sunday morning about seven or eight years ago, my mom cornered me before breakfast and asked if I could have gonorrhea. I sputtered and shook, furious that my own mother could think I had an STD. I told her that I hadn’t put in the dirty work for that one, and we awkwardly moved on. But the truth is, her question was valid. For about a year, I’d been getting frequent urinary tract infections (UTIs), but as of late, every test had come back negative. No bacteria, no infection; I was fine. Fast forward four years. I had just graduated from college and reached a sulky sort of resignation that I would simply always have “my” symptoms: stinging pain when I peed, urgent/frequent urination (often with nothing to show for my effort), and pain in my bladder/pelvic region. Then my grandmother said the two magic words: interstitial cystitis.
He Crushed You and Now He Wants You Back
Posted by Vicky Lane Categories: Advice, Celebrities, Entertainment, Relationships,
Did anyone watch The Bachelor last night? I’m a huge fan and was so excited to see Jason get his chance to make out with 15 girls at once. The best part of the show was when they showed the highlights for the season, and low and behold Deanna Pappas returns!!! I KNEW IT! For those of you who didn’t watch last season, Deanna almost let Jason propose and then yanked him up and told him she was in love with Jesse (who she recently dumped). Honestly, I was shocked she would actually come back to the show and tell Jason she made a mistake. The producers must be thrilled. I cannot WAIT to see what happens.
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Faking a Fresh Face
Posted by Katie Gutierrez Painter Categories: Advice, Entertainment, Fashion, How To,
Last night, my husband and I went to see The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. The movie happened to be playing at the fabulous Alamo Drafthouse, so I also had a few glasses of wine. The breakdown, my friends: Things got messy. Very messy. My husband had to keep irritably shushing my sniffling, but it was no use. I was in crying-mode.
Needless to say, I woke up this morning looking a fright. I peered miserably at myself in the mirror, poking at my purplish, swollen eyelids. I washed my face with very cold water, but my skin seemed to become even more dull and blotchy. What kind of movie was worth this kind of casualty? And what could I do to fix it? Luckily for you—and a blessed relief for me—I perfected the fake-fresh formula years ago, and I’m only too happy to share it now.
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Getting Over the Worst Break-Up
Posted by Vicky Lane Categories: Advice, Humor, Marriage, Relationships, Sex,
I’ve heard some really horrible break-up stories in my day. One of the worst was when my friend got dumped after her boyfriend went away for a vacation. During the period of one week he had met a new girl, brought her home, and moved her in. Oh the heart ache she must have felt. It truly was a horrible way for him to end things. But I remember this particular break-up story because I remember how well she handled it. She was strong, mature, and had no urge to destroy him or his new girl. How did she do it? Maybe she cried every time she was alone or maybe (hopefully) she consumed high levels of alcohol so that she could drown her sorrows away. I knew this girl well and the bottom line was she just got over him, moved on, and never looked back.
I am the polar opposite. My worst break-up ever was with someone I dated for about 8 months. I was 28 he was 30 and we were in love. Things moved pretty quickly and I knew, just knew, he was the one. He was about to be a lawyer, an Italian like me, and we were basically compatible.
So how did he break up with me? The last normal conversation I had with him was amazing. We had agreed to move in together and finally start our lives. Oh my god this was it!! We would live together, get married, have babies, have more babies, renew our vows… and…. um…. yeah, all that other crap. God help me.
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How Online Dating Saved My Life
Posted by Vicky Lane Categories: Advice, Humor, Marriage, Relationships, Sex,
For me, dating was never easy. Although I considered myself mostly extraverted, I was never bold enough to actually approach a random guy. When I was in my early twenties I lived in a small college town. My only real option for meeting new men was out at a bar or through work. I worked at the local college surrounded by women and guys too young to buy beer. And bars? First of all, I’ve never been a big drinker. And most importantly, I could never really take a guy seriously when he’s mostly drunk and probably snuck into the bar using a fake ID.
During my mid-twenties I made a huge move and relocated to New York City. I thought for sure that living in the big city, my dating life would be ignited. Man was I wrong. Now, I do consider myself an attractive woman, but come to find out the ratio of attractive women to men in NYC is quite ridiculous, one hundred to one I think. So I lived there for a year, sucked it up and went to bars, and went on a total of three dates. Three dates. One was with some accountant who was generally nice, but not my type. The other two dates were with a hair dresser who worked on the set of Sex and the City named Sasha (yes, his name was Sasha). Let’s just say that even the idea of possibly meeting Sarah Jessica Parker wasn’t enough to make me stand this guy for another second.
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Are You Really Alone for the Holidays?
Posted by Vicky Lane Categories: Advice, Humor, Marriage, Relationships, Sex,
It’s that time of year again and this year, Hubby and I are solo in a new city. This is the first year that either of us have not spent the holidays with our families. We finally made the tough decision to try and save some money and have a “romantic” Christmas together.
Only a few years ago, I considered myself alone for the holidays. Actually, many years in a row it always seemed that whatever relationship I was in ended right before the season. “Oh great, alone for Christmas again,” I would say. The worst thing of course was going to see the family and having to hear that dreaded question: “So, dating anyone?” UGH. I wanted to punch that person regardless of whether we had the same last name or not. The first few years that question made me so uncomfortable that I would lie and say, “yes.” Maybe I would make someone up or maybe I would extend my previous relationship and just pretend we never broke up. Either way it made me feel slightly better. If you are in that phase of your life, hey, there’s nothing wrong with a little white lie. Just make sure you are prepared to answer any follow-up questions.
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