We all know the type! You know, the D?bags of the world. They lurk mostly around local bars, and clubs near me, and you. They all have one thing on their mind?..SEX! They live, breathe, and sleep, to get sex. They are obsessed with how they look, and the material world??only so that they can get more sex! If they even get any at all. To any smart girl, their efforts would be a turn off.
They ruin girl?s nights out all over the world. They always do the same thing. They lurk out by the bar, they find their target, and they go vagina hunting! When approached by one of these drooling, retarded, juicers, one can only pray that it?s a brief encounter. Which, rarely is the case. The average tool will normally result to: a shirt that is unbuttoned too many buttons down, no shirt at all, excessively talking about themselves, eye contact with your boobs, bad jokes (that really just hurt your soul), loud talking (which will have you question if you are talking to sports coach on speed), Hair gel, Ed Hardy, those weird, long boat - like ? dress shoes, a gold chain, a partial boner, really bad dance moves (that usually includes grinding the ? boner on the girls ass) statements and comebacks that make no sense, compliments that are really insults, overly use the words, ?Dude? and ?Bro?, head nods, popped collars, frat boy vibe, and, let?s not forget the smell of steroids! Just to name a few.
There are too many tools out there to be able to give an accurate description of each. One thing that ties them all together is their dyer need to get their member wet??.no matter what it takes.
I always shoot these guys down. The funnest thing to do, is to call a tool out on being a tool. I will tell you right now, when I saw the commercial for Tool Academy on VH1, I died laughing! I was like, ?Hell yeah?!!!!! FINALLY!!!!! A show about these assholes! I watched it last night, and I was seriously impressed! These guys are the bottom of the barrel tools! HAHA! They did a great job casting Tool Academy. There is pretty much every kind of tool that?s out there. So far my favorite tool is Sean. He seems like the biggest tool of them all. The premise of the show is that 9 guys got tricked into thinking that they were going on a show called, ?Mr. Awesome?, then, they find out that their girlfriends really enrolled them into the Tool Academy! It?s genius! They have to do different challenges, and therapy! LOL All in hopes to get down to the one tool that has made the most progress, and will earn the real title of Mr. Awesome.
It looks like there will be blood, sweat, tears, laughter, fighting, booty pops, roid rage, smeared makeup, pissed off girlfriends, and a lot of tool-a-licios action happening! What?s better than that? I can?t wait to see the rest of this season!
