On Gear Live: Apple Changes the Mac Forever, iOS 14, and more w/ Guest Mark Gurman!

Latest Gear Live Videos

Thursday January 15, 2009 2:09 pm

“Tell Me You Love Me”  Should He Always Say It First?

Posted by Vicky Lane Categories: Advice, Humor, Marriage, Relationships, Sex,


If you haven’t figured it out yet, I’ve been in a handful of relationships prior to getting married. Most of them were meaningful and some of them were pretty intense. I have been in love more then once and yeah, I’ve said those three little words a few times. It is so funny to me how we (us girls) are so anxious about wanting to hear our man give in to his emotions and tell us he loves us. Sometimes we stare at them and repeat to ourselves “say it, say it, come on say it” (well, maybe us crazy ones). We really want to hear it because for one, it confirms that this guy is really serious about us and two, that he’s not going anywhere (at least for a little while).

Some of us go through many stages of anxiety in a relationship. The first stage, after a serious relationship is established, is the “when is he going to say ‘I love you’?” stage (by the way, the next stage is “when is he going to propose”). When you have completely fallen in love, all you want to do is say it. You want to tell him you love him everyday. But you won’t. And why? Because you want him to say it first, and in my opinion, he should. You really never, ever want to be in a situation where you profess your love to someone and then it not be returned. That’s harsh. But I said he should, not he must.

Yes, I’ve said it first. I’ve actually said it first twice. What was I thinking, right? The funny thing about the first occasion was that we were actually having a conversation about it. It wasn’t some sappy, romantic, intense moment. He basically dared me to do it, and I did (give me a break we were really young). I swore after that moment I would NEVER be the first to say it again. If the guy was too chicken well too bad, I wouldn’t give in.

The second occasion was different. It was that sappy, romantic, staring into each others eyes moment. And he said “say it” to me! What could I do? The words were practically spilling out of my mouth already. So I justified it by thinking his “say it” was basically him telling me he loved me. So I said it…. again. Andt it was a sweet moment.

So should you give in? Well, it all depends. Some guys actually need the same reassurance that we need, and are just as scared that those words won’t be reciprocated. And that’s OK. Just as long as you feel it’s the right time (not a few days after meeting!) and you’re very confident that he feels the same way, then it shouldn’t matter who says it first.

My husband said it first to me (although he argues I said it first with my eyes 😊 ). It was a perfect moment that I’ll always remember (and hey, I deserved it, right?!)




Post a Comment:


Remember my personal information

Notify me of follow-up comments?