Sometimes, having a drink on a date is a great way to calm your nerves. Having three, four, or even five can lead to disaster. The reason I bring this up is I recently had a conversation with a friend about one of her most recent disaster dates. While she is not a big drinker, she finds herself a little too tipsy when she’s out with a new guy. She truly is a “drunk dater”.

How she explains it to me is that after arriving at a restaurant the easiest way for her to relax is to order a drink. It puts her at ease and gives her something to do instead of fidgeting. If she’s having a good time with this guy and likes the look of him, her first drink goes down pretty quickly. If she really, really likes him, she could easily end up finishing three martinis in the first hour, yikes.

The problem is after the second drink she’s so tipsy that she could be having fun with anyone! The date becomes more of party and by the end of the night there’s a chance she could wind up lip locked (or worse) in the front seat of the car.  Then she wonders why things didn’t work out.  And by “work out” she means being taken seriously for a deeper relationship.

I try to advise my dear friend and let her know that if she needs to have a drink, hey, there’s nothing wrong with that. And maybe she could trying “nursing” one drink for awhile (especially a martini).  This way, she can solve her fidgeting issue and still feel slightly relaxed (instead of feeling like she might fall out of the chair).

The best advice I can give is not to drink at all, but I’m realistic and know that a drink can make that really awkward moment a little less awkward.  I think men definitely want to feel relaxed and want us to feel relaxed. And maybe some of them do want us to get a little out of control because the idea of a make-out session on the first date sounds good to them.  But seriously, my friend is a great girl and she’s looking for a great guy to spend some time with.  I can only hope that she takes my advice and kicks her drunk dating habit!

Every date should be fun, but if you want to be taken seriously, you may want to avoid the tequila shots, the multiple martinis, and the potential face sucking these things can cause.