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Friday December 19, 2008 5:21 pm

Are You Really Alone for the Holidays?




Posted by Vicky Lane Categories: Advice, Humor, Marriage, Relationships, Sex,

singlechristmas

It’s that time of year again and this year, Hubby and I are solo in a new city. This is the first year that either of us have not spent the holidays with our families. We finally made the tough decision to try and save some money and have a “romantic” Christmas together.

Only a few years ago, I considered myself alone for the holidays. Actually, many years in a row it always seemed that whatever relationship I was in ended right before the season. “Oh great, alone for Christmas again,” I would say. The worst thing of course was going to see the family and having to hear that dreaded question: “So, dating anyone?” UGH. I wanted to punch that person regardless of whether we had the same last name or not. The first few years that question made me so uncomfortable that I would lie and say, “yes.” Maybe I would make someone up or maybe I would extend my previous relationship and just pretend we never broke up. Either way it made me feel slightly better. If you are in that phase of your life, hey, there’s nothing wrong with a little white lie. Just make sure you are prepared to answer any follow-up questions.

After awhile I eventually began to embrace my singleness. Yeah sure it would have been nice to bring someone home to meet my family… but then I would be “bringing someone home to meet my family” and we all know how much stress that can cause. So instead I went home for the holidays optimistic for the future and finally told the truth. “No, actually I’m not dating anyone at this time, but looking forward to the new year”. You would be surprised how your aunt or your cousin were once single and wow what great advice they can give! I felt empowered being honest and being OK with my singleness because I knew that right around the corner would be a new adventure, and I always loved the mystery and excitement of a new adventure.

I finally realized that being a Debbie Downer the whole day was so much more pathetic then being happy with where I was in life. Believe me, people can see right through that misery, especially your family. Oh yeah, your family. Believe it or not, they are there for you. And hey, so are your friends too. “I’m ALONE!” I used to say, while being surrounded by people who loved and supported me and were willing to help me get through it. I was never really alone.

I still get excited for the new year and what adventures lie ahead. Remember that something always happens and this will be the best year yet!

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