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Monday December 15, 2008 12:57 am

This Week on TV (12/15-12/21)

Muppets Christmas

(You can view TV Envy’s Television Programming Schedule here.)

MONDAY 12/15)
  • Heroes (NBC, 9:00):  “Mohinder may hold the key to rescuing Hiro.” I’m starting to wonder if Mohinder has the answer to anything.
  • 20/20 (ABC, 9:00):  “Teens put on a show in a chronicle of a Virginia high school production of ‘The Wiz’ that uses video diaries and interviews to follow the emotional drama of students.” Sadly, this is the same network that also put together the barely-watched .
  • Worst Week (CBS, 9:30):  “Sam helps Dick choose the perfect gift for Angela after discovering he gets her the same thing every year.” Just for the record: Some things like spa packages and jewelry can be given over and over again.
  • The Hills (MTV, 10:00):  “Heidi and Spencer consider eloping during a Mexican vacation.” Whatever you do - avert your eyes.
TUESDAY 12/16)
  • The Biggest Loser: Families (NBC, 8:00):  “The winner is revealed in the sixth-season finale.” I can tell you who it isn’t: Me.
  • According to Jim (ABC, 9:00):  “Faced with the difficult task of buying Christmas presents for five kids, Jim tries to earn extra money by getting the twins cast in a film starring Steve Guttenberg.” As if that’s going to make them any money.
  • Momma’s Boys (NBC, 10:00):  Series premiere. “Three bachelors and their mothers meet 32 single women.” Maybe should start his new 10:00 gig now.
  • The Real Housewives of Orange County (Bravo, 10:00):  “Gretchen throws a burlesque party, despite her fiance’s stay in the hospital.” Well, it’s not like she didn’t invite him…
WEDNESDAY (12/17)
  • Secret Millionaire (FOX, 8:00):  “Baltimore socialite Molly Shattuck goes undercover in Schuylkill County, PA. Shattuck is married to an energy company CEO.” Does she really need to go undercover? I doubt anyone would know who she is.
  • Muppets Christmas: Letters to Santa (NBC, 8:00):  “Song, dance, comedy and celeb guest turns intertwine in a holiday romp featuring the Muppets, who unwittingly prevent three letters from reaching Santa Claus.” When Miss Piggy caught Kermit with Uma Thurman, the fur - and letters - went flying.
  • Private Practice (ABC, 9pm):  “Kevin questions his relationship with Addison.” Kate Walsh just can’t catch a break.
  • Tyler Perry’s House of Payne (TBS, 10:00): Malik’s buddy Kevin gets intimate with a promiscuous girl who happens to be the source of a syphilis outbreak.” This show’s supposed to be a comedy, right?
THURSDAY (12/18)
  • Million Dollar Password (CBS, 8:00):  “ and Aisha Tyler compete tonight.” Yes - just about everything else is in repeats.
  • Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader? (FOX, 9:00):  “Competitors include a clergyman.” Should it be considered an unfair advantage when someone has God whispering in his ear?
  • Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew (VH1, 10:00):  Season finale. “Jeff’s violent outburst tests Dr. Drew’s no-tolerance policy as graduation approaches.” I don’t think I ever want to see the day when Pinsky finally snaps.
  • Forbes Luxe 11 (Travel, 10:00):  “Eleven of the world’s most exclusive getaways are spotlighted.” Only those with government bailout dollars can afford to attend.
FRIDAY (12/19)
  • Ghost Whisperer (CBS, 8:00):  “Melinda helps a disillusioned ghost accept the truth about her past marriage.” The woman’s already dead, does she really need more bad news?
  • Glamour’s 25 Biggest Dos and Don’ts (Style, 9:00):  “A countdown of 25 top fashion tips.” Listen up, Gwyneth Paltrow. Mixing underwear and sheer garments would be considered a don’t.
  • Don’t Forget the Lyrics (FOX, 9:00):  “Chuck Woolery and Air Supply help two strangers compete together in a search for romance and a big payday.” By the end of the night, the two contestants will be making love out of nothing at all…
  • Numb3rs (CBS, 10:00):  “Charlie is forced to team with his archrival when a vigilante group attempts to stop a career criminal.” There’s nothing hotter than duel between two math geeks.
SUNDAY (12/21)
  • Brotherhood (Showtime, 8:00):  “Italian mobsters, the state police and the Feds are on Michael’s trail while he tries to track down Colin.” I don’t think that’s the kind of trifecta Michael would like to hit.
  • Ruby (Style, 8:00):  “Members of Ruby’s weight-loss team disagree over how she should continue after her weight dips below 400 pounds.” Who knew progress would spark controversy?
  • Rich Bride, Poor Bride (WE, 9:00):  “An event designer wants to showcase his skills at his own wedding and has little tolerance for other people’s ideas - including his fiancee’s.” Hey - if a groom wants to take over the planning details, I say let him.
  • The Girls Next Door (E!, 10:00):  “Hef looks through scrapbooks as he recalls his life.” Even needs visual reminders.

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