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Sunday May 30, 2010 11:49 am

This Week on TV (5/31-6/6)


 

MONDAY (5/31)
  • King of Dirt (DIY, 9pm):  “A couple celebrate their wedding anniversary by having the front yard of their home landscaped.” For their first anniversary, it was their bodies they had landscaped.
  • Kendra (E!, 10pm):  “Kendra works on her tell-all autobiography, which Hank believes is too revealing.” He thinks she should just stick to picture books.
  • True Beauty (ABC, 10pm):  Season premiere. “Ten contestants pose in lighted glass cases on the Las Vegas strip, thinking they’re competing for the title ‘The Face of Vegas,’ while actually both their outer and inner beauty are being judged.” The contestants, like Vegas, have a stylish exterior but are vacant inside.
TUESDAY (6/1)
  • America’s Got Talent (NBC, 8pm):  Season premiere. “The talent contest opens its fifth season with open auditions in Los Angeles. New judge Howie Mandel replaces David Hasselhoff and joins the arbiters’ table with returnees Piers Morgan and Sharon Osbourne.” Baywatch babes will also be replaced with Deal or No Deal models.
  • Glee (FOX, 9pm):  “The glee club gets some jarring news.” They shouldn’t expect to graduate until at least Season Three.
  • Losing It with Jillian (NBC, 10pm):  Series premiere. “Trainer Jillian Michaels moves in with a Massachusetts family to help them change their unhealthy lifestyles in the premiere of this reality series.” Nothing makes you lose your appetite like a skinny bitch in your home.

 

WEDNESDAY (6/2)
  • Money Hunters (DIY, 8:30pm):  “Retirees plan to replace a home office with an expanded spa bathroom.” They’ve been working on their iPads from the toilet anyway.
  • Happy Town (ABC, 10pm):  “Rachel vanishes, setting off fears that the Magic Man has returned.” She could not run away it seems, they’d seen each other in a dream.
  • Clean House: Search for the Messiest Home in the Country (Style, 10pm):  “A mom with four messy boys receives help cleaning her house.” On occasion, CPS workers are actually considered welcomed guests.

 

THURSDAY (6/3)
  • The Real Housewives of New York City (Bravo, 10pm):  Season finale. “Season 3 closes on the well-pampered Big Apple ladies with Jill and Bethenny at long last trying to end their feud.” They figured a reconciliation would require less effort than finding new hobbies.
  • Mall Cops: Mall of America (TLC, 10pm):  “ visits the Mall of America, and security must deal with passionate followers, protesters, a bounty hunter and a bomb threat.” The situation later escalated when the mall walkers went rogue.
  • Royal Pains (USA, 10pm):  Season premiere. “An inventor’s son tries to break free from his father, but his methods prove dangerous.” “Severing ties” should not be taken literally.

 

FRIDAY (6/4)
  • iCarly (Nickelodeon, 8pm):  “Carly, Sam and Freddie try to cheer up a lonely fan on her birthday, but they wind up as hostages in her house.” No good deed goes unrestrained.
  • Gavin and Stacey (BBC America, 9pm):  “Gavin becomes uncomfortable with Gwen and Bryn knowing the intimate details of his and Stacey’s relationship.” He might not want to follow Stacey’s Twitter account.
  • Flashpoint (CBS, 9pm):  “A terrorist group places several bombs throughout the city and the SRU team must find and dismantle them before they explode. One team member sacrifices his life to save others.” MacGruber’s demise was an unexpected event.

 

SUNDAY (6/6)
  • Bridezillas (WE, 9pm):  Season premiere. “A woman plans a gothic Halloween wedding and takes out her frustrations on family, friends and strangers.” She wanted to set the right tone for the dark wedding.
  • 2010 MTV Movie Awards (MTV, 9pm):  “Aziz Ansari hosts the 19th annual bash at the Gibson Amphitheatre in Los Angeles.” Hey, MTV has already dropped “music television” - so stop asking why this event exists.
  • Dining with Death (Travel, 9pm):  Series premiere. “Andrew Zimmern samples potentially poisonous fish in the series that has him traveling the globe trying dishes that could be deadly if not prepared properly.” If the Travel Channel can’t kill Zimmern, they’ll try, try again.

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