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Sunday April 27, 2008 9:09 pm

This Week on TV (4/28-5/4)

House, Hugh Laurie

(You can view TV Envy’s Post-Strike Television Schedule here.)

 

MONDAY (4/28)
  • Deal or No Deal (NBC, 8pm):  “Darth Vader subs for The Banker in a -themed episode that also features Carrie Fisher, R2-D2 and Chewbacca, who cheer on contesants in a winner-take-all match.”  As if I needed a reason to avoid this program altogether.
  • House (FOX, 9pm):  New episode.  “House suspects that an ER patient with a sunny disposition has a bigger problem than was initially diagnosed.  The reason:  He thinks the patient is too nice.”  I have to admit it—cheery people are a freak of nature.
  • Medium (NBC, 10pm):  “Joe surprises Allison by buying her a used car, but Allison’s subsequent visions warn of the vehicle’s unsavory past.”  Is it a 1958 Plymouth Fury that responds to the name ‘Christine’?
  • CSI: Miami (CBS, 10pm):  “A clue in a case involving the discovery of a body point the CSIs to a robbery that’s being planned on a target who holds a disturbing secret.”  Murders have never been linked to anti-climatic or lame secrets.
TUESDAY (4/29)
  • American Idol (FOX, 8pm):  Neil Diamond night = David Cook + open shirt + hairy chest.
  • Women’s Murder Club (ABC, 10pm):  New day and time.  “Lindsay must bend the rules to catch a cop killer.  Along the way, she crosses paths with her estranged father—whose reputation in the department isn’t exactly pristine—and a captain from narcotics.”  Is she searching along the Yellow Brick Road?
  • Shark (CBS, 10pm):  New day and time.  “Sebastian has a personal stake in building a case against an underworld kingpin.”  Apparently Tuesdays @ 10:00 are where struggling shows go to die.
  • Law & Order: SVU (NBC, 10pm):  “ guest stars as an engineer, who poses as a police officer on the phone to trick people into committing criminal acts.”  Ironically, I like the comedian much better when he isn’t telling jokes.

 

WEDNESDAY (4/30)
  • Price is Right Million Dollar Spectacular (CBS, 8pm):  New day and time.  “ hosts a primetime edition of the game show.”  I’d like to see how the ladies of Price would fare in a ‘showdown’ against the suitcase models of Deal.
  • Wife Swap (ABC, 8pm):  “A drag-racing mom who doesn’t cook and has a cluttered house swaps with an impeccable homemaker who cooks gourmet meals and loves to entertain.”  I’d like to live in Door #2, please.
  • Farmer Wants a Wife (CW, 9pm):  Series debut.  “Ten women tired of city life compete for the affections of a farmer through a series of challenges.”  Do they really need to compete?  The last one to run back home should win.
  • Boston Legal (ABC, 10pm):  New day.  “Shirley asks Alan to sue the Democratic Party when her nephew - a delegate - disagrees with this state’s primary vote.”  If the Emmy voters go against the viewers, could we sue them too?

 

THURSDAY (5/1)
  • Smallville (CW, 8pm):  “Clark, through a series of messages sent by Kara from Krypton, discovers what Earth would be like had he never arrived.”  Without Clark, would wind up in 5th place?
  • The Office (NBC, 9pm):  “Pam encounters an unforeseen problem after spending a night at Jim’s abode.”  No, no!  I don’t want to hear anything bad about Jim….ever!
  • Grey’s Anatomy (ABC, 9pm):  “Addison returns to Seattle Grace to perform a surgery and is surprised at the changes in her former coworkers’ lives.”  She’s surprised to see they can go out without her.
  • Lost (ABC, 10pm):  “Jack’s health is seriously compromised, forcing Kate and Juliet to work together to save him.”  I hear there’s nothing hotter than having two women operate on you.

 

FRIDAY (5/2)
  • Oprah (syndicated):  Tom Cruise makes the first of two new appearances on the talk show today.  All that craziness simply couldn’t be contained in just one episode.
  • Divorce Court (syndicated):  The Friday craziness continues when Gary Coleman finishes talking to Judge Lynn Toler about his troubled marriage.  Some people jump on couches, others bang their heads into walls.  Nobody’s perfect.
  • 20/20 (ABC, 8pm):  Special episode.  “A report on the frescoes on the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel focuses on speculation about whether Michelangelo inserted coded messages into figures depicted in the biblical scenes.”  Uh-oh.  Sounds like it’s time for Tom Hanks to start growing his hair out again.
  • Moonlight (CBS, 9pm):  “A promising Hollywood starlet hires Mick to protect her after she feels threatened by overly aggressive paparazzi.”  Why pay for several beefy bodyguards when you can hire just one bloodsucker?

 

SUNDAY (5/4)
  • The Simpsons (FOX, 8pm):  “When Lisa enters a documentary about her family in the , Homer, Marge and Bart are embarrassed by the candid look at their lives.”  How could it possibly be worse than Bart’s full-frontal nudity?
  • Aliens in America (CW, 8:30pm):  “One of the PTA moms tries to get ‘smutty’ books banned from the school curriculum.”  Don’t they know kids are reading Judy Blume’s Forever on the side anyway?
  • The Game (CW, 9pm):  “Malik feels that his post-season escapades have reached a high point when he meets Robin Givens.”  Wait a second—is this show set in the ‘80s?
  • Desperate Housewives (ABC, 9pm):  “Bree gives Orson an ultimatum.”  He annoying replies, “Alrighty then.”

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