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Sunday March 30, 2008 11:07 pm

This Week on TV (3/31-4/6)

My Name is Earl, Paris Hilton

(You can view TV Envy’s Post-Strike Television Schedule here.)


MONDAY (3/31)
  • Dancing with the Stars (ABC, 8pm):  The top 10 dancers take the floor tonight.  If also manages to master the fast jive, she’ll have my votes from this point out.
  • The Big Bang Theory (CBS, 8pm):  “Sheldon gets sick, but the guys refuse to take care of him because he’s such a bad patient.”  So is there such thing as a good male patient?
  • How I Met Your Mother (CBS, 8:30):  “Barney tries to find the mystery woman who’s out to ruin his reputation, and he uses the basketball tournament-bracket template to eliminate 64 suspects.”  Okay - if CBS can’t get around to finally renewing this series, I will give them 64 reasons why I hate them.
  • New Amsterdam (FOX, 9pm):  “When a murder victim in Chinatown murder reminds John of a son he lost in the early 20th century, the investigation leads to a ruthless crime family who are related to his offspring.”  And I thought Terminator‘s storyline was trippy.
  • Just for Laughs (ABC, 8pm):  “A lawn mower chases pedestrians”.  Uhh, I’ve seen what those things can do in Maximum Overdrive .  Not funny.
  • Hell’s Kitchen (FOX, 9pm):  Season Four premiere.  This time around, the eventual winner will work in a restaurant already owned by himself.  I couldn’t care less what the prize is.  I’m just dying to hear him call someone ‘bloody stupid’ again.
  • Live to Be 150 (ABC, 10pm):  This special hosted by Barbara Walters “explores ways to increase longevity and keep people active longer”.  I’m sure daily bitching with four other women is not high on that list.
  • CSI: Miami (CBS, 10pm):  Special day and time.  The conclusion of a two-parter has the team searching for Calleigh after she is kidnapped.  And when I say ‘search’, I mean Horatio will stand around with his hands on his hips.


  • Criminal Minds (CBS, 9pm):  New episode.  “Rossi reopens an unsolved case from his past, and the team helps him to find answers regarding the murder of two parents who were killed almost 20 years earlier.”  Am I the only one who confuses this show with Cold Case and Without a Trace?
  • American Idol (FOX, 9pm):  “The Clark Brothers, winners of the , perform.”  It’ll be the first time the band actually performs for a viewing audience.
  • CSI: NY (CBS, 10pm):  New episode.  “Mac’s team searches an abandoned warehouse for one of the city’s most wanted criminals after receiving an anonymous tip.”  Okay - why are crime scene investigators searching a place where a crime hasn’t happened yet?
  • Men in Trees (ABC, 10pm):  “In Elmo to sing the national anthem at the Huskies’ opening game, Morgan Fairchild (playing herself) decides to make a movie about Marin.”  Okay, back up.  Morgan Fairchild can sing?


  • My Name is Earl (NBC, 8pm):  New episode.  Now that we’ve survived Britney’s cameo work, we’ll once again have to brace ourselves for Paris Hilton’s turn.  At least the former started with some talent.  I’m not sure what we can say about the latter.
  • CSI (CBS, 9pm):  New episode.  “Grissom’s team investigates several murders while fighting the flu.”  Apparently high-rated shows do not allow sick days.
  • Make Me a Supermodel (Bravo, 10pm):  “The winner is revealed in the season finale after the final four work the catwalk.”  That person will then join Jaslene, Naima and Yoanna in that place I like to call “Reality Model Wasteland”.
  • Step It Up & Dance (Bravo, 11pm):  “Elizabeth Berkley hosts this reality-competition series in which 12 aspiring dancers square off in challenges.”  In case some of you were wondering, Berkley’s appearance does not mean there will be more topless dancing.


FRIDAY (4/4)
  • Ghost Whisperer (CBS, 8pm):  New episode.  “Melinda helps Ned’s girlfriend, who thinks her late father is haunting her home.”  And I always thought our parents were happy when we moved out.
  • Duel (ABC, 9pm):  New episode.  “The game show returns with a slightly revamped format.”  Well, unless this show can beat another primetime Price is Right - it won’t really matter what it has to offer.
  • Numb3rs (CBS, 10pm):  New episode.  “During a bust of an inner-city meth lab, Don’s instinct leads to the arrest of a bystander who has a greater scheme planned.”  I wonder if this show could figure out the probability that will be brought back next year.
  • Battlestar Galactica (Sci Fi, 10pm):  Season Four premiere.  Now I know why my friends said they were ‘busy’ next weekend.


SUNDAY (4/6)
  • Monk (NBC, 8pm):  Network premiere.  This is that show with that guy who keeps winning all the awards that I’ve never watched.  Nothing personal.
  • Psych (NBC, 9pm):  Network premiere.  “The feds show up with their own psychic while investigating a counterfeiter.”  I’m getting this feeling…this feeling the show will trail far behind Oprah.
  • Oprah’s Big Give (ABC, 9pm):  “Jada Pinkett-Smith, Gayle King and Natalie Cole help the contestants try to make the wishes come true.”  Random thought:  What makes Gayle King any different than Turtle on ?  (Aside from the smoking pot thing, that is.)
  • Here Comes the Newlyweds (ABC, 10pm):  “One of the husband and wife teams must win one last challenge to truly test how well they know each other.”  Seriously - how well could newlyweds possibly know each other?  I think The Moment of Truth has taught us all a lesson or two.



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