(You can view the whole Revamped TV Programming Schedule here.)

**Live coverage of the State of the Union Address (9 PM Eastern) will alter many schedules.  Double-check your local listings for times.**

• Dance War (ABC, 8pm):  “One contestant from the losing team is ousted after the first round of competition.”  Those remaining will learn Bruno’s ‘I’m Still Standing’ routine.
• Gossip Girl (CW, 8pm):  Pilot repeat.  Late-comers can finally learn why Gossip is this season’s guiltiest pleasure.  (And when I say ‘gossip’, I mean the show, of course.)
• In Treatment (HBO, 9:30:  Series premiere.  New therapy drama airs 5x a week with a different patient every night.  Apparently Gabriel Byrne can’t handle them all at once like the masterful Dr. Drew.
• Making the Band 4 (MTV, 10pm):  Diddy brings back all the winners and throws them together in one house.  If they end up killing each other, he can finally start anew.

• The Biggest Loser (NBC, 8pm):  “The willpower of the contestants is tested during a soda competition.”  I know people who are addicted to Mountain Dew.  Soda is not something to be messed with.
• Real Housewives Confess (Bravo, 9pm):  Now that the season’s over, we get an update on Jo’s joke of a singing career.  Place your bets now:  who will get their album out first…Jo or Heidi Montag?
• House (FOX, 9pm):  “The team participates in a gift exchange with a twist, courtesy of House.”  Who cares if the show is a little dated?  What’s important here is that it’s new.
• One Tree Hill (CW, 9pm):  The show goes back three years in time.  If Britney Spears could go back that far, maybe she too could redo that whole Kevin Federline thing.

• Crowned: The Mother of All Pageants (CW, 8pm):  The final de-sashing ceremony helps CW sever ties from this lame experiment.
• Wife Swap (ABC, 8pm):  “A burlesque dancer wife swaps lives with a lumberjack wife.”  I really don’t want to know what the lumberjack learns to do with her chainsaw.
• Lost (ABC, 9pm):  Finale repeat.  Before you watch Thursday’s season premiere, relive the moment when you said: “WTF?”
• The Moment of Truth (FOX, 9pm):  Last week’s Hair Club contestant resumes his time on the hot seat.  If he truly is a gambler, then winning the whole prize shouldn’t be a problem…should it?

• Lost (ABC, 8-10pm):  A one hour ‘recap’ special precedes the season premiere @ 9pm.  Omigawd.  I thought this day would never come!
• Smallville (CW, 8pm):  “Unaware that Clark is actually Bizarro, Lana shares information with him about a serial killer who they suspect is Brainiac (James Marsters).”  Spike’s on Smallville?  I might actually have to start watching this show now!
• Celebrity Apprentice (NBC, 9-11pm):  In this two-hour episode, the teams create ‘an awareness campaign for a company’s shoe donation program.’  I really hope they don’t expect their celebrity pals to give up any of their shoes.
• Eli Stone (ABC, 10pm):  Series premiere.  All those years trying to get ‘Faith’ out of my head have now gone to waste.

• Gone Country (CMT, 8pm):  “Rich mentors the cast about the finer points of Southern hospitality and has them prepare a meal for the MuzikMafia.”  I’m all for embarrassing celebrities, but what exactly does cooking have to do with singing?
• Friday Night Lights (NBC, 9pm):  “Brian begins the three-game suspension and turns to Coach Taylor for advice.”  My husband is learning to live without football as well.  Maybe Taylor can spread the advice around.
• Monk (USA, 9pm):  “Monk’s artwork becomes a hit after he takes up painting in his spare time.”  Call me bitter, but I hate when people are rewarded for things they do in their spare time.

• Super Bowl Pregame Show (FOX, 2pm Eastern):  Will Ryan Seacrest seem out of place in this football spectacle?  Will Paula still be able to dance like there’s no tomorrow?
• Super Bowl XLII (FOX, 6pm Eastern):  Will Tom Brady be able to cap off a perfect season?  Will my hubby even know I’m there?
• House (FOX, post-game):  I have no idea why they say the Best Supporting Actress winners are cursed.  Did anyone predict that Academy Award-winning Mira Sorvino would be trapped in an Antarctic research station?  I don’t think so!