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VIDEO: Natalie Portman Cracks Jokes with Top Chefs
Posted by K.C. Morgan Categories: Food & Home, Prime Time, Reality, Bravo, Cable, Top Chef, Gossip, Video,
Natalie Portman spiced up Top Chef with her recent appearance, making the table laugh with her somewhat ribald joke. And she looks so sweet!
Want to hear the quip? Watch the clip!
Read More 
| E! Online
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Gerard Butler’s Cheeky Behavior
Posted by Andru Edwards Categories: Movies,
Gerard Butler posed for a photograph with a doughnut in his butt—how classy.
The Scottish-born actor loved starring in new sci-fi thriller Gamer so much he decided to thank the directors by sending them a sugary treat, but tricked the filmmakers into thinking the doughnut had been tampered with.
“I wrote to the two directors on Gamer separately. I wrote that me and the stunt guys are having a blast and sent them half a dozen doughnuts each as a thank you. They were so chuffed. The next day we got six fresh doughnuts and shoved them between our a*s cheeks… and took a Polaroid. We sent this snap to the directors and sure enough, they thought they’d been eating the very same sugary treats. They were freaked out man.”
Gerard, 39, admits his immature behavior was mirrored by the rest of the cast and crew on Gamer.
He added to Shortlist, “It was my birthday that day and about 10 of the cast dropped their trousers to reveal “Happy Birthday Gerry” written across their cheeks. Come to think of it, there was a little too much a*s in the making of this film.”
Why DID the Chicken Cross the Road?
Posted by Sheila Franklin Categories: Editorial, Internet,
We are always so serious around here, that when we found this circulating on the Net we just had to share. Too funny! The image is courtesy of “lonecellotheory” on Flickr, while the author is apparently still unknown. Give that woman/man a job at Comedy Central!
Barack Obama: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a CHANGE! The chicken wanted CHANGE!
John McCain: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.
Hillary Clinton: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure—right from Day One!—that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn’t about me…....
Dr. Phil: The problem we have here is that this chicken won’t realize that he must first deal with the problem on ‘THIS’ side of the road before it goes after the problem on the ‘OTHER SIDE’ of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he’s acting by not taking on his ‘CURRENT’ problems before adding ‘NEW’ problems.
Oprah: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I’m going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.
George W. Bush: We don’t really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.
Colin Powell: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road…
Anderson Cooper - CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.
John Kerry: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken’s intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.
Nancy Grace: That chicken crossed the road because he’s GUILTY! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.
Pat Buchanan: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
Martha Stewart: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer’s Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.
Dr. Seuss: Did the chicken cross the road?
Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes, the chicken crossed the road,
But why it crossed I’ve not been told.
Ernest Hemingway: To die in the rain. Alone.
Jerry Fallwell: Because the chicken was gay! Can’t you people see the plain truth?’ That’s why they call it the ‘other side.’ Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media white washes with seemingly harmless phrases like ‘the other side. That chicken should not be crossing the road. It’s as plain and as simple as that.
Grandpa: In my day we didn’t ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.
Barbara Walters: Isn’t that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its life long dream of crossing the road.
Aristotle: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
John Lennon: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.
Bill Gates: I have just released eChicken2008, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check book. Internet Explorer is an integral part of the Chicken.. This new platform is much more stable and will never cra…#@&&^(C% ........reboot.
Albert Einstein: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?
Bill Clinton: I did not cross the road with THAT chicken! What is your definition of chicken?
Al Gore: I invented the chicken!
Colonel Sanders: Did I miss one? Where did that sucker go?
Dick Cheney: Where’s my gun?
Al Sharpton: Why are all the chickens a colorless white? We need some black chickens.
We suspect that you guys could add to the list, eh?
Read More | Neatorama
Why Jay Leno’s Monologue Must Not Go On
Posted by K.C. Morgan Categories: Late Night, NBC, News,
Hey, even celebrities have to follow the rules - a fact that is being pointed out to late night host Jay Leno by many major media outlets. Here’s the deal: there’s an active writers’ strike going on, but the Tonight Show must go on anyway. At least, that’s the stand taken by NBC.
During a recent new episode of his late night show, Leno delivered a monologue and announced that he’s writing his own jokes. However, under Writers Guild rules those who are still on strike are not allowed to write for any studio’s project. NBC maintains they’re following the rules, while the Guild says Leno is a member and subject to all the strike rules therein - which means, no writing. The entire issue is now going before a union panel.
With all this itty bitty quibbling, it’s no wonder no one can seem to get any negotiations scheduled which might actually end this thing.
E! Online
Stephen Colbert Accused of Joke Theft
Posted by K.C. Morgan Categories: Comedy, Talk Shows, Cable, Gossip,
During an episode of Comedy Central’s The Colbert Report, host Stephen Colbert made a joke that the Republican presidential candidates sounded like Klingons (you know, from Star Trek) while talking about honor. Now, Cenk Uygur of The Young Turks, an Air America morning show, says the joke was actually his – told on his Sept. 7 radio program. Uygur has already made a stink on YouTube, the Web site that is slowly taking over every single media story in the U.S. A Colbert spokeswoman offered no immediate comment, but said the issue is likely to be addressed on the show. As Jon Stewart might say, “eggggggcellent.”
Read More | Yahoo News
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