Predictably, Garry Marshall’s Valentine’s Day massacred its competition at the box office this weekend, grossing an estimated $52.4 million from Friday to Sunday. But does the all-star flick live up to its huge ensemble cast, banner director and shockingly high ticket sales? Let’s review.

The list of stars in this movie is so ridiculously long (the cast includes dazzling names like Kathy Bates, Shirley MacLaine and Julia Roberts), there just aren’t enough roles to go around. Audiences get stuck watching twenty minutes of Emma Roberts, best known for playing the big screen Nancy Drew, while Kathy Bates gets relegated to a part so small it’s hard to remember she’s even in the flick. Queen Latifah hardly had time to be funny and Taylor Lautner never even got a decent opportunity to take his shirt off (sorry, Twilight-ers).

If the movie sounds like a cluster &%^*, it’s because it is. The central storyline involves Ashton Kutcher and Jennifer Garner - and from there, the other twenty-seven characters quickly become hopelessly entangled. Valentine’s Day tries a little too hard to marry far too many different elements, resulting in a rather jumbled, difficult-to-follow melange of completely dysfunctional relationships.

Marshall’s ode to love feels much more like a not-so-subtle ploy to trot out some of Hollywood’s finest in an overtly feelgood movie that barely even meets its mark. Every touching moment was cut so short, the tissues couldn’t even be located in time before viewers were whisked off to another convergent story line. In short, Valentine’s Day is just too much. There are too many characters doing too many things, and the audience is given the opportunity to neither laugh nor cry while they breathlessly try to keep up with everything happening on the screen. With no real time or quality moments to feel the characters, the film ends up feeling pretty hollow instead.

With so much star power driving this one, however, it’s certainly not a completely worthless trip to the movies. Jamie Foxx offers up a genuine performance as a jaded sportscaster who meets a woman who’s his neurotic match, Taylor Swift is sure to keep the younger viewers rolling in the aisles (for the five minutes she’s on screen) and Shirley MacLaine and Julia Roberts somehow manage to bring their glamorous acting talent to a film that otherwise would feel almost completely emotionless.