On Gear Live: Apple Changes the Mac Forever, iOS 14, and more w/ Guest Mark Gurman!

Latest Gear Live Videos

Friday September 28, 2007 5:23 pm

Halo 3 Gamer Fuel: The definitive review

Posted by Sparky Categories: Culture, Microsoft,

DescriptionIn the interest of expanding my life experiences and getting “my game on” I decided to try the much hyped Gamer fuel, Mountain Dew’s new themed “Dew with an invigorating blast of citrus cherry flavor” featuring 170 calories of sugar and 73mg of caffeine. Read on for our full, unabashed review.

Initial Impressions:
Upon opening the can I was struck by a fizzing fruity bouquet, with hints of pine. The smell reminds me of a mix between kool-aid and pine-sol. I poured a slight bit into a glass to inspect the rich red-orange colors. While in the white cup it looks suspiciously like very thin fake blood from a great number of movies I watched as a child.

The First Sip:
Pine-sol and kool-aid suspicions confirmed. The flavor is very artificial and tastes just like it smelled: lime and cherry kool-aid packets mixed with a pine-needle whisk. My mouth instantly got dry and gummy - the sheer amount of sugar in a sip is likely more than I usually consume in a day. Never being one to shy away from the challenge I take a big gulp.

The big sip was a mistake - my teeth started hurting, and shortly after swallowing my stomach followed suit. Now 10 minutes and 1/4th of a can later I feel like laying down and taking a nap. My mouth feels and tastes like a gummy bear crawled in, died, and is now decomposing slowly in the back of my throat. What have you done to me Gamer Fuel?

The verdict:
What freakish executive at Pepsi approved this hyper-sweet monstrosity? Why is it selling? Should I buy stock in companies producing medical equipment for diabetics?




Commenting is not available in this channel entry.