The Story of the Internet Farmers
Posted: 13 March 2006 03:10 PM     [ Ignore ]  
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Sour Grapes said: “It’ll be over by Christmas”.

John Farmer said: “I don’t care much for eggs anyway”.

Experience said: “Without eggs there would be no cakes: pancakes, meringues, omelettes…”

Christmas passed uneventfully for the farmers but January brought them a shock. They discovered that all the chicken feed in the whole world had been taken over by a disreputable ex-farmer, ex-lawyer named Mr Stormpay. Stormpay informed the farmers that they had a choice: to buy feed from him at inflated prices or to go without and let their birds starve. This type of choice is called “Hobson’s choice”, on the Internet it’s called “scampay”.

Sour Grapes said: “See, I was right”.

John Farmer said: “There’s no alternative”.

Experience said: “…mayonnaise, batter, custard…”

The farmers paid Stormpay for the feed but he didn’t deliver it. He kept the farmers’ money and poured all the feed they had paid for into the swill at his pig farm. The farmers tried to reason with Stormpay about the unfairness of the situation but he used lawyers to prevaricate. As Stormpay had all their money, the farmers could not afford to hire lawyers to help them. Without the feed, 12 Daily Pro golden egg production ceased immediately. The strongest of the common hens were able to continue laying their ordinary eggs because they could survive on the grubs and greens they could peck at around the farms but, as the farmers had concentrated so much on 12 Daily Pro, there were not very many hens left, eggs became scarce and the farming community experienced terrible suffering.

Sour Grapes said: “Shouldn’t have put all your eggs in one basket”.

John Farmer said: “It was a mistake to give in to Stormpay’s blackmail”.

Experience said: “Shakespeare was right about lawyers”.

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