We all knew that John Mayer was fairly obsessed with Twitter—this is the guy who told us that his penis fell asleep. Who knew that he’d let this obsession get to his head so much that he feels the need to offer advice to everyone?

Seeming to have gained insight into the mind of a 16 year-old icon due to his affinity for Twitter, Mayer commented on Miley Cyrus’s departure from the social networking site: “She’s smart enough to realize there is some interference of the brain that she doesn’t want to deal with… I think if you’re in Miley’s situation, it might take a little too much time to play goalie for your own heart and mind.”

For someone who has wanted his own private life left out of the public eye, he sure seems to know a thing or two about talking about fellow celebrities’ lives.

Then there’s the other teen queen whom Mayer felt he should offer advice for—Demi Lovato. The pair collaborated on her song “World of Chances,” which is featured on her album Here We Go Again; they must have developed some sibling-like (hopefully) connection, for Mayer starts to sound like her big brother.

“When you’re young and you’re a star, just keep writing, keep working, keep developing… Demi has a huge career in front of her ... depending on the decisions she makes in her life.”

Just say it, John—say that as long as she doesn’t go down Lindsay Lohan‘s path, she’ll be OK.

Finally, Mayer offers his infinite wisdom to every famous, teenage artist roaming the airwaves today: “[It’s] difficult to be seen in the public and continue to be vulnerable as an artist. [At] 16 or 17 you gotta keep learning, [even if] people are watching you.”

Thank you, Mr. Mayer—you’ve done the world such a great service.

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